Volume 8
(A few seconds before Volume 7 finished)
<THEMASTER> Muahahah - *cough* ahem
<THEMASTER> Muahahahahahahahahah!!
*<THEMASTER> is behind a curtain*
Bob: **** he looks shady
Joe: Bahamut...
*Joe points at Bahamuts dead body, hung by ropes still fresh with his blood. They also noticed the price tag that was still there: "SALE!! Buy one get one free for only 8.99, sold exclusivly at Kmartaru's Kmartaru Shope-wopee"
Bob: That *******!
Grenion: He didnt last long.. heh
Joe: Not you, Kmartaru.
Grenion: Who?
Bob: ugh, nvm.
Grenion: This guy?
*Grenion points at a body on the ground.*
Joe: !!
Grenion: Woops, wrong one.
*Grenion points at Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: Wassssaaaappppp!!! (tounge flying)
Bob: !!
GMdev /l Theres not much time, leave the fool alone. <THEMASTER> is holding the Oracle hostage. You must rescue him and warp back to him house in jeuno..
Bob: /l Oracle?
GMdev /l Yes. He is our only hope to defeating <THEMASTER> and his evil scheme. He knows-all and hear-all
Oracle /l Thats right *****, and I'm a her. HER
Joe /l ...
Bob: Wheres the Oracle!
<THEMASTER>: So thats why you have come. I thought so.
Joe: We dont give a **** what you think just give him back!
Oracle: Its her you ********
Joe: Fine, Give her back!
<THEMASTER>: Just like that? I'm afraid you'd have to defeat me first. I would never surrender such a prize.
Bob: ***** this dude.
Joe: Operation Galkan Sausage?
Bob: Hell yeah.
*Bob throws a Smoke Grenade*
*Joe throws a Flashbang*
*Bob grabs Kmartaru*
*Joe grabs the Oracle*
Joe: Goodbye Bahamut...
Bahamut: WTF!! You're leaving me??!
Joe: I thought you died!
Grenion: *choke* *cough* *blah!!*
Bob: Hurry!
*Bob grabs Bahamut*
*Bob casts Operation Galkan Sausage*
<THEMASTER> Those fools...muahahah
Grenion: Muahahah
*Bob, Joe, Kmartaru, the Oracle and Bahamut's bloody body appears in "Merchants House" in Lower Jeuno"
Joe: Whoa
Bob: Whoa
Kmartaru: Whoa!
Bahamut: Ugh..
*ding!*
Oracle: Ah, the cookies just finished.
*The Oracle puts on her oven mitts and takes out Cinna-cookie's*
Oracle: Smell good don't they?
Bob: Not really no.
Oracle: Go outside and wait
*Oracle smiles warmly*
Bob: uh.. sure
*Bob sees a skinny boy with a spoon*
*<skinnyboy> bends the spoon with his mind*
Bob: !!
Joe: Lemme try that
*Joe stares at the spoon...*
*Joe stares some more..*
*Kmartaru stares at the spoon*
<skinnyboy> Your spoon does not bend becaus it is just that, a spoon. Mine bends because there is no spoon, just my mind.
Joe: .. yeah right kid.
*Kmartaru bends the spoon with his mind*
Kmartaru: Look, mine bended-wended.
Bob: Holy ***.
<elvaanfemale7> The Oracle will see you now.
*Bob still shocked*
<elvaanfemale7> The Oracle is waiting.
Bob: Okay.
*Bob and Joe enter the room*
Bob: Hello?
Oracle: I know, you're Bob, I'll be right with you.
Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
Bob: What vase?
*Bob turns around*
*Bob doesn't knock down the vase*
Bob: Oh, this one.
Oracle: ... never mind.
Oracle: You know why GMdev brought you to see me?
Bob: Not really, no.
Oracle: So you think you're the one?
Bob: The one?
Oracle: Yes, the one who will save us all.
Joe: From what?
Oracle: The gigantic cookie that is in space and crashing towards the earth.
Bob: !!
Oracle: I'm just messin' with ya.
Joe: ...
Oracle: Well, I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Bob: Good.
Oracle: Well i'll tell you the bad first.
Bob: ...
Oracle: You're not the one. Kmartaru is.
Joe: ... we're *******
Bob: And the good news?
Oracle: Same as the bad news.
Bob: So what is he going to save us from?
Oracle: <THEMASTER> of course.
Bob: I see.
Oracle: Here, come outside with me.
*Joe looks at the ground and thiers a pile of bent spoons*
*Kmartaru looks up at him and smiles*
*Joe shudders*
*Oracle, Bob, Joe, Kmartaru and Bahamut sit down on the couches*
BANG!
Bahamut: ouch..damn ceiling.
Oracle: Alright, I have brought you here today to unravel all the mysteries of the past couple weeks. First the story between Grenion, Bahamut and Kmartaru.
Bahamut: well after you left...
--------------------- Flashback -----------------------
Bahamut: Come on *****! I'll take you down!
Grenion: yeah watever, puny dragon.
Bahamut: look whos talking, sprout.
Kmartaru: Look! Lets not argue! Check this out!
Kmartaru: *pst* *pst* *whisper* While i distract him with this ripoff you rest up. *whisper*
Grenion: .. I heard that..
Kmartaru: CHEAP!! SALE!! ROCK SALT FOR a cheap 2k!! EACH!!!
Kmartaruinanothervoice: WOW!!
Kmartaruinnormalvoice: Thats right!! 2K only!!!
Grenion: ...
Kmartaruinnormalvoice: Distilled water in the desert! 1k a bottle! Buy now!!
Kmartaruinalowvoice: ugh..i'm thirsty..WOW!! CHEAP!!
Kmartaruinnormalvoice: Thats right!! Buy NOW!!
Kmartaru: *whisper* nows ur chance bahamut!
Bahamut: ...
Grenion: ...
-------------------------- Flashback over ------------------
Bahamut: Then we basically fought and he kicked my ***. And hung me up in the room with some ropes.
Joe: I saw the price tag on the ropes...
Bahamut: Tag?
Kmartaru: oh! After Bahamut fell uncouncious-taru...
------------------ Flashback -----------------------
Grenion: God, hes huge, how am I gonna bring him home..
Kmartaru: I'll help you!
Grenion: ?!
Kmartaru: If you buy my rope. For only 8.99!! Specifically made for kidnapping! Makes the target weigh nothing!
Grenion: Nice.
*Grenion trades Kmartaru 8.99*
Kmartaru: Ok, I come with you.
Grenion: ... sure..
------------- Flashback Over -------------------
Bob: So thats why you were in the den just now too.
Kmartaru: Yup-taru.
Oracle: Okay, now the story of Kmartaru's secret mission...
---------------- Flashback ---------------
GMdev: Okay kmartaru I have a secret mission for you.
Kmartaru: Mission-wission for metaru?
GMdev: .. yes.
Kmartaru: What is it-wisit?
GMdev: You must go and find the Oracle and bring him to Garlaige Citadel.
Kmartaru: Garlaigeewagey?
GMdev: .. yes.
Kmartaru: Oktaru!
*Kmartaru rushes off*
* 3 minutes later *
*Kmartaru comes back*
Kmartaru: ..Where is oracle-woracle?
GMdev: (Oh god.. I hope the Oracle chose the right one.)
GMdev: He's in Lower Jeuno, Merchants house.
Oracle: SHE!! SHE ***** SHE!!!
Kmartaru: shee **************** shee!
GMdev: Oh shuttup and go midget.
Kmartaru: Off i gotaru!
*Kmartaru arrives in Merchants House, Lower Jeuno*
Kmartaru: Hello!
<skinnyboy> sup.
Kmartaru: I am looking for oreo!
Kmartaru: Wait no.. I look for chocolate chip oreo
Kmartaru: nonono.. i look for THE oreo.
Kmartaru: yes yes, THE oreo.
<skinnboy> Oracle?
Kmartaru: No! Oreo!
Oracle: Hahaha, young fool. Lets go.
Kmartaru: Go where?
Kmartaru: Bathroom?
Oracle: ...
Kmartaru: Big or small?
Oracle: ...
<skinnyboy> BIG. hahaha
Kmartaru: eeeew-taru. Smelly-welly.
<skinnyboy> I still cant belive this is the one you chose.
*Oracle shrugs*
Kmartaru: ok, lets go-taru!
Kmartaru: To goblin-cage!
<skinnyboy> Garlaige?
Kmartaru: No gob-cage site-o-del!!
*Oracle starts walking to Garlaige Citadel*
Kmartaru: Wait for me-taru!
*Kmartaru runs off*
------------------------ Flashback Over ----------------
Bob: So Kmartaru is the real hero of this story.
Oracle: I'm afraid so.
Joe: Why did you choose him?
Oracle: Dont ask me.
Bob: ok..
Kmartaru: I am new herotaru?
Oracle: I'm afraid so.
Kmartaru: yayzee-wazey!
Oracle: The world is in grave danger guys. <THEMASTER> has almost finished creating the portal between the real world and this world. The only thing he needs left is the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*
We must stop him.
Bahamut: How.
Oracle: Good question. You must bring it to Ifrits Cauldron and drop the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*
Oracle: ... into the Cauldron itself.
Bob: ...
Joe: ...
Bahamut: The what ring?
Oracle: the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*
Oracle: Its actually <THEMASTER>'s wedding ring. When you destroy it, his wife's anger will destroy him. Literally.
*Joe shudders*
*Oracles 1st Word of Wisdom*
When you're a evil vilian, dont have a wife!
*Oracle nods knowingly*
Bob: ...
Kmartaru: So we go to Ifritee's Cafeteria Hot-Pot now?
Bob: Its called a cauldron.
Oracle: And yes, you head off now.
Oracle: Your Party will consist of Bob, Joe and Kmartaru, the Ringboy. You must protect him at all costs.
Bahamut: What about me?
Oracle: You will stay here and rest up. Look at you, you're half dead.
Bahamut: Oh well.
Oracle: Okay, off you go.
Oracle: And remember, the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*
Dont lose it
*Oracle hands Kmartaru the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*
Kmartaru: Okay lets go!
*Kmartaru leaves the scene*
Oracle: Omg! He left the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*
*Kmartaru rushes back in*
Kmartaru: I forgot my ring-taru!
Bob: ...
Joe: ..
Kmartaru: Okay lets go-taru!!
Thus ends Volume 8.