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What GM's do in thier spare time vol. 1Follow

#77 Jun 19 2004 at 4:27 AM Rating: Excellent
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332 posts
Randomness is where most of the comedy comes from. Its my signature ^^
#78 Jun 19 2004 at 9:49 AM Rating: Good
A machinima is basically when u record yourself playing a game and do voiceovers for it in order to create a story. RedvsBlue is the first of these that is well known. I will have more info on mine soon.
#79 Jun 19 2004 at 9:14 PM Rating: Good
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252 posts
Luelaeng:<<<< Crackin the F*&% up. keep up the good work!
#80 Jun 20 2004 at 12:13 AM Rating: Good
Hahaha! Good stuff, can't wait for Vol. 8

Edited, Sun Jun 20 01:14:40 2004 by Phaddie
#81REDACTED, Posted: Jun 20 2004 at 12:21 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Trickybeak is a botter check this out
#82 Jun 20 2004 at 9:58 AM Rating: Excellent
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332 posts
Volume 8

(A few seconds before Volume 7 finished)

<THEMASTER> Muahahah - *cough* ahem
<THEMASTER> Muahahahahahahahahah!!
*<THEMASTER> is behind a curtain*

Bob: **** he looks shady
Joe: Bahamut...
*Joe points at Bahamuts dead body, hung by ropes still fresh with his blood. They also noticed the price tag that was still there: "SALE!! Buy one get one free for only 8.99, sold exclusivly at Kmartaru's Kmartaru Shope-wopee"
Bob: That *******!
Grenion: He didnt last long.. heh
Joe: Not you, Kmartaru.
Grenion: Who?
Bob: ugh, nvm.
Grenion: This guy?
*Grenion points at a body on the ground.*
Joe: !!
Grenion: Woops, wrong one.
*Grenion points at Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: Wassssaaaappppp!!! (tounge flying)
Bob: !!

GMdev /l Theres not much time, leave the fool alone. <THEMASTER> is holding the Oracle hostage. You must rescue him and warp back to him house in jeuno..

Bob: /l Oracle?

GMdev /l Yes. He is our only hope to defeating <THEMASTER> and his evil scheme. He knows-all and hear-all

Oracle /l Thats right *****, and I'm a her. HER

Joe /l ...


Bob: Wheres the Oracle!
<THEMASTER>: So thats why you have come. I thought so.
Joe: We dont give a **** what you think just give him back!
Oracle: Its her you ********
Joe: Fine, Give her back!
<THEMASTER>: Just like that? I'm afraid you'd have to defeat me first. I would never surrender such a prize.
Bob: ***** this dude.
Joe: Operation Galkan Sausage?
Bob: Hell yeah.



*Bob throws a Smoke Grenade*
*Joe throws a Flashbang*

*Bob grabs Kmartaru*
*Joe grabs the Oracle*
Joe: Goodbye Bahamut...
Bahamut: WTF!! You're leaving me??!
Joe: I thought you died!
Grenion: *choke* *cough* *blah!!*
Bob: Hurry!
*Bob grabs Bahamut*
*Bob casts Operation Galkan Sausage*

<THEMASTER> Those fools...muahahah
Grenion: Muahahah




*Bob, Joe, Kmartaru, the Oracle and Bahamut's bloody body appears in "Merchants House" in Lower Jeuno"


Joe: Whoa
Bob: Whoa
Kmartaru: Whoa!
Bahamut: Ugh..

*ding!*
Oracle: Ah, the cookies just finished.
*The Oracle puts on her oven mitts and takes out Cinna-cookie's*
Oracle: Smell good don't they?
Bob: Not really no.
Oracle: Go outside and wait
*Oracle smiles warmly*
Bob: uh.. sure
*Bob sees a skinny boy with a spoon*
*<skinnyboy> bends the spoon with his mind*
Bob: !!
Joe: Lemme try that
*Joe stares at the spoon...*
*Joe stares some more..*
*Kmartaru stares at the spoon*
<skinnyboy> Your spoon does not bend becaus it is just that, a spoon. Mine bends because there is no spoon, just my mind.
Joe: .. yeah right kid.
*Kmartaru bends the spoon with his mind*
Kmartaru: Look, mine bended-wended.
Bob: Holy ***.

<elvaanfemale7> The Oracle will see you now.
*Bob still shocked*
<elvaanfemale7> The Oracle is waiting.
Bob: Okay.

*Bob and Joe enter the room*
Bob: Hello?
Oracle: I know, you're Bob, I'll be right with you.
Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.

Bob: What vase?
*Bob turns around*
*Bob doesn't knock down the vase*
Bob: Oh, this one.
Oracle: ... never mind.
Oracle: You know why GMdev brought you to see me?
Bob: Not really, no.
Oracle: So you think you're the one?
Bob: The one?
Oracle: Yes, the one who will save us all.
Joe: From what?
Oracle: The gigantic cookie that is in space and crashing towards the earth.
Bob: !!
Oracle: I'm just messin' with ya.
Joe: ...
Oracle: Well, I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Bob: Good.
Oracle: Well i'll tell you the bad first.
Bob: ...
Oracle: You're not the one. Kmartaru is.
Joe: ... we're *******
Bob: And the good news?
Oracle: Same as the bad news.
Bob: So what is he going to save us from?
Oracle: <THEMASTER> of course.
Bob: I see.
Oracle: Here, come outside with me.
*Joe looks at the ground and thiers a pile of bent spoons*
*Kmartaru looks up at him and smiles*
*Joe shudders*

*Oracle, Bob, Joe, Kmartaru and Bahamut sit down on the couches*
BANG!
Bahamut: ouch..damn ceiling.
Oracle: Alright, I have brought you here today to unravel all the mysteries of the past couple weeks. First the story between Grenion, Bahamut and Kmartaru.

Bahamut: well after you left...

--------------------- Flashback -----------------------

Bahamut: Come on *****! I'll take you down!
Grenion: yeah watever, puny dragon.
Bahamut: look whos talking, sprout.
Kmartaru: Look! Lets not argue! Check this out!
Kmartaru: *pst* *pst* *whisper* While i distract him with this ripoff you rest up. *whisper*
Grenion: .. I heard that..
Kmartaru: CHEAP!! SALE!! ROCK SALT FOR a cheap 2k!! EACH!!!
Kmartaruinanothervoice: WOW!!
Kmartaruinnormalvoice: Thats right!! 2K only!!!
Grenion: ...
Kmartaruinnormalvoice: Distilled water in the desert! 1k a bottle! Buy now!!
Kmartaruinalowvoice: ugh..i'm thirsty..WOW!! CHEAP!!
Kmartaruinnormalvoice: Thats right!! Buy NOW!!
Kmartaru: *whisper* nows ur chance bahamut!
Bahamut: ...
Grenion: ...

-------------------------- Flashback over ------------------

Bahamut: Then we basically fought and he kicked my ***. And hung me up in the room with some ropes.
Joe: I saw the price tag on the ropes...
Bahamut: Tag?
Kmartaru: oh! After Bahamut fell uncouncious-taru...

------------------ Flashback -----------------------

Grenion: God, hes huge, how am I gonna bring him home..
Kmartaru: I'll help you!
Grenion: ?!
Kmartaru: If you buy my rope. For only 8.99!! Specifically made for kidnapping! Makes the target weigh nothing!
Grenion: Nice.
*Grenion trades Kmartaru 8.99*
Kmartaru: Ok, I come with you.
Grenion: ... sure..

------------- Flashback Over -------------------

Bob: So thats why you were in the den just now too.
Kmartaru: Yup-taru.
Oracle: Okay, now the story of Kmartaru's secret mission...


---------------- Flashback ---------------

GMdev: Okay kmartaru I have a secret mission for you.
Kmartaru: Mission-wission for metaru?
GMdev: .. yes.
Kmartaru: What is it-wisit?
GMdev: You must go and find the Oracle and bring him to Garlaige Citadel.
Kmartaru: Garlaigeewagey?
GMdev: .. yes.
Kmartaru: Oktaru!

*Kmartaru rushes off*
* 3 minutes later *
*Kmartaru comes back*

Kmartaru: ..Where is oracle-woracle?
GMdev: (Oh god.. I hope the Oracle chose the right one.)
GMdev: He's in Lower Jeuno, Merchants house.
Oracle: SHE!! SHE ***** SHE!!!
Kmartaru: shee **************** shee!
GMdev: Oh shuttup and go midget.
Kmartaru: Off i gotaru!

*Kmartaru arrives in Merchants House, Lower Jeuno*

Kmartaru: Hello!
<skinnyboy> sup.
Kmartaru: I am looking for oreo!
Kmartaru: Wait no.. I look for chocolate chip oreo
Kmartaru: nonono.. i look for THE oreo.
Kmartaru: yes yes, THE oreo.
<skinnboy> Oracle?
Kmartaru: No! Oreo!
Oracle: Hahaha, young fool. Lets go.
Kmartaru: Go where?
Kmartaru: Bathroom?
Oracle: ...
Kmartaru: Big or small?
Oracle: ...
<skinnyboy> BIG. hahaha
Kmartaru: eeeew-taru. Smelly-welly.
<skinnyboy> I still cant belive this is the one you chose.
*Oracle shrugs*
Kmartaru: ok, lets go-taru!
Kmartaru: To goblin-cage!
<skinnyboy> Garlaige?
Kmartaru: No gob-cage site-o-del!!
*Oracle starts walking to Garlaige Citadel*
Kmartaru: Wait for me-taru!
*Kmartaru runs off*

------------------------ Flashback Over ----------------



Bob: So Kmartaru is the real hero of this story.
Oracle: I'm afraid so.
Joe: Why did you choose him?
Oracle: Dont ask me.
Bob: ok..
Kmartaru: I am new herotaru?
Oracle: I'm afraid so.
Kmartaru: yayzee-wazey!
Oracle: The world is in grave danger guys. <THEMASTER> has almost finished creating the portal between the real world and this world. The only thing he needs left is the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*


We must stop him.

Bahamut: How.
Oracle: Good question. You must bring it to Ifrits Cauldron and drop the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*

Oracle: ... into the Cauldron itself.
Bob: ...
Joe: ...
Bahamut: The what ring?
Oracle: the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*


Oracle: Its actually <THEMASTER>'s wedding ring. When you destroy it, his wife's anger will destroy him. Literally.
*Joe shudders*
*Oracles 1st Word of Wisdom*
When you're a evil vilian, dont have a wife!

*Oracle nods knowingly*

Bob: ...

Kmartaru: So we go to Ifritee's Cafeteria Hot-Pot now?
Bob: Its called a cauldron.
Oracle: And yes, you head off now.
Oracle: Your Party will consist of Bob, Joe and Kmartaru, the Ringboy. You must protect him at all costs.
Bahamut: What about me?
Oracle: You will stay here and rest up. Look at you, you're half dead.
Bahamut: Oh well.
Oracle: Okay, off you go.
Oracle: And remember, the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*


Dont lose it

*Oracle hands Kmartaru the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*


Kmartaru: Okay lets go!
*Kmartaru leaves the scene*
Oracle: Omg! He left the ONE RING... TO RULE THEM AAAALLLL.
*Oracle nods knowingly*

*Kmartaru rushes back in*
Kmartaru: I forgot my ring-taru!
Bob: ...
Joe: ..
Kmartaru: Okay lets go-taru!!







Thus ends Volume 8.












#83 Jun 20 2004 at 10:01 AM Rating: Good
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94 posts
woo first post after teh new vol. ^^ man this stuff is great i love it so much you shoudl sticky this thread and up date it every week or so for everoyne entertainment hehe

Joe: .. yeah right kid.
*Kmartaru bends the spoon with his mind*
Kmartaru: Look, mine bended-wended.
Bob: Holy ***.

haha i love it ; ;(tears of joy)

Kmartaru: To goblin-cage!
<skinnyboy> Garlaige?
Kmartaru: No gob-cage site-o-del!!
*Oracle starts walking to Garlaige Citadel*
Kmartaru: Wait for me-taru!



sigh the best vol. so far definitly ^^ keep the puns and taru pranks rollin in

Edited, Sun Jun 20 11:08:53 2004 by Armeggadon
#84 Jun 20 2004 at 10:09 AM Rating: Good
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4,632 posts
Quote:
Oracle: Well, I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Bob: Good.
Oracle: Well i'll tell you the bad first.
Bob: ...
Oracle: You're not the one. Kmartaru is.
Joe: ... we're @#%^ed.
Bob: And the good news?
Oracle: Same as the bad news


ROFLMAO! If I had had something in my mouth when I read that it would now be all over my screen. ^^
#85 Jun 20 2004 at 1:18 PM Rating: Good
Man, alll I can say is great stuff. I started reading this tread last night at work. Customer, what Customer?

#86 Jun 20 2004 at 1:44 PM Rating: Good
OMG!!, this thread is 2x as funny as the noob funny sayigs thing.
And this is just 85 posts long, while the other one is around like 500-600.
I love u alacer, not that way, but oh man that will always mean the sick way............SO everyone that reads this, don't think that i meant that way......
The funniest part of it for me was when Kamtaru is the One, u should have added the Dum Dum Dum!! part to that.
#87 Jun 20 2004 at 1:45 PM Rating: Default
If the good news is the bad news then that means that this is Yin-Yang news, so that means that kamtaru has 2 sides good and bad, i can't beleive it, i always thought that Tim wouild be the one.
#88 Jun 20 2004 at 4:02 PM Rating: Good
Volume 8 is great! I am afraid that Kmartaru is our savior though... Will I dream Dave? I also like the LegendaryFrog reference, if indeed that is one. Keep up the good work!
#89 Jun 20 2004 at 5:55 PM Rating: Default
Comeone, please hurry, i am posting like crazy in alot of threads just to make time go by quickly!!!. I think i just added 10 posts in the last 10 mins, please hurry!! If it goes on like this i will get 1 star, omg, for me 1 star is a big achievment thank you very much Alacer.
#90 Jun 20 2004 at 8:20 PM Rating: Good
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514 posts
Quote:
Bob: Dude this is too sad
<chocobo2> 'tis called animal labor, kweh *weep*
*Bob hops off chocobo*
*Joe hops off chocobo*
Bob: cya later guys
Joe: bye
<chocobo2> hahahahahha!! sucka's!
<chocobo1> ROFLLMAOLOL!!
<chocobo2> run jake run!


I know i'm a little late, but that bit made me burst out laughing. Very very nice work, keep it up!
#91 Jun 21 2004 at 6:11 AM Rating: Decent
Erm. Your story is kinda slippin. I mean the first like 4 or 5 volumes before this greg the onion crap started made me laugh so hard my sides split. You are trying to hard. I did not even crack a smile at the last 2 except for the whole 1004 gil and 56 gil gag at the choco stable. Seriously you have a great talent. Don't stiff us on the good stuff because you are trying to get more out there. Take your time we will wait.

Oh and the matrix stuff. Wrong just wrong.

Edited, Mon Jun 21 07:13:32 2004 by Thenaturalstyles
Quote:
Bob: ... Ok...soo...
Joe: What do we do now?
Bob: The dev just said to "become a gob" and fix the prob.
Joe: Hmm...
<randomplayer89>'s ranged attack misses Goblin Mugger.
<goblinmugger> yo! Lets keeeelll!!
Bob: GOGOGGO!
Joe: Bob what are you doing?
Bob: huh? I dunno. I just have this wierd feeling that makes me want to go attack <randomplayer89>
Joe: ?
Joe: sh*t, I have it too now.
<goblinmugger> KEEEEELLL!!!
Bob: KEEEELLL!!!
Joe: KEEEELLL!!!
Bob hits <randomplayer89> for 24 points of damage.
Joe hits <randomplayer89> for 32 points of damage.
<goblinmugger> hits <randomplayer89> for 29 points of damage.

<randomplayer92> Run dude run!
<randomplayer92> uses Provoke on Bob.
Bob: WHOA!!! I"LL KILL YOU <RANDOMPLAYER92>!!!!!!!!!!
Joe: Stay on the original target man!
Bob: THAT DUDE JUST CALLED MY MOM A FAT-***! I'LL KILL HIM!!
Bob hits <randomplayer92> for 34 points of damage.
Joe: He didnt call you nothin' man!
<randomplayer35> uses Provoke on Joe.
Joe: YOU ******!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Bob: See what I mean?
Joe hits <randomplayer35> for 27 points of damage.
<randomplayer35> ZONE ZONE!!
<randomhighlvlwhitemage1> casts Cure III on <randomplayer35>
Joe: JESUS!! DID YOU SEE THAT LIGHT!!! LETS KILL IT!!!
BOB: WHOA!!! LIGHT!!! KEEELLL!!!


By far the best part of all the volumes.

Only one thing I don't get. Why the hell did that High level WHM not waste bob and joe's ***? I mean anytime I an in valkrum and have the means to bring TERROR FIRE BRIMSTONE And DEATH on a goblins head I make sure I do so?

One of lifes un answered questions. Oh another one.

In the first matrix how the hell was seifer able to

1. Jack himself into the matrix.
2. Have a informative conversation with Agent Smith.
3. Do this all without anyone knowing.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I mean really.

Edited, Mon Jun 21 07:18:17 2004 by Thenaturalstyles
#92 Jun 21 2004 at 6:54 AM Rating: Good
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770 posts
Quote:

<elvaanfemalechocoborenter1>: A chocobo will cost you 1004 gil.
Bob: Ever wonder why the chocobo renters are always elvaan females?
Joe: Not really no.
Joe: But why?
Bob: The hell do I know, I was just asking a question

This had me laughing for like 10 minutes =D
Wonderfull!
#93 Jun 21 2004 at 7:01 AM Rating: Good
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424 posts
Alacer wrote:
GMdev: He's in Lower Jeuno, Merchants house.
Oracle: SHE!! SHE ***** SHE!!!
Kmartaru: shee **************** shee!
GMdev: Oh shuttup and go midget.
Kmartaru: Off i gotaru!



lol nice, good stuff
#94 Jun 21 2004 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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324 posts
lol missed this thread for awhile. was on when first episode was created and now ran across it again. keep up the good work. the only problem i have is when you said



Bob: *munch* *munch*
Joe: *munch* *munch*
Kmartaru: *munch* *munch*



this is copyright infringement on my name. my lawyer will be in contact with you as soon as i can call him.... and that will be sometime after this hang over leaves me.

i bid you well kind merchant of Necrohevia.

Edited, Mon Jun 21 08:27:19 2004 by Munchums
#95 Jun 21 2004 at 10:15 AM Rating: Excellent
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332 posts
Well styles, the last couple are crap compared to the first 5. I know. I even said so in the bottom of Volume 6 or 7. Its cuz I have to set up the beginning of the adventure.

Randomness is where the best stuff comes from, I know. But this stories not gonna go anywhere with just random incidents right?

I also found out that its better when I don't brainstorm and just wing-it on the spot. I'll do that next one.

Thank you for you criticism. 80 posts of "OMGROFLLMAO" lol. Then you. ahahah. But criticism is good, helps improve.
#96 Jun 21 2004 at 12:44 PM Rating: Good
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332 posts
The latest ones arnt quite as funny as the others but you're right it would get boring if it was just a random story each time so im all for matrix/LOTR spinoffs.
#97 Jun 21 2004 at 12:53 PM Rating: Good
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2,094 posts
Heh keep up the good work Alc ... it would be awsome if SE saw this and put ur story when its finished into the Vina'Del times ... heh that would be awsome
#98 Jun 21 2004 at 12:54 PM Rating: Good
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2,094 posts
Heh keep up the good work Alc ... it would be awsome if SE saw this and put ur story when its finished into the Vina'Del times ... heh that would be awsome
#99 Jun 21 2004 at 1:19 PM Rating: Good
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491 posts
great stuff, only keeps gettin better and better
#100 Jun 21 2004 at 2:48 PM Rating: Good
WOW!!! Need I say more, you made my work day go bye so much quicker.
#101 Jun 21 2004 at 10:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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332 posts
Lol, it'd be impossible for SE to put it up on the official site. There's too much swearing. Lol. And if you take it all out, its not as funny.

I did have a GM e-mail me and say it's really funny though. Lol, seriuosly.

/wave Illuminous!
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