Now when it comes to RP servers, that's a whole different thing. How harshly do you enforce in-character behavior? Who gets to decide what is or is not in-character for a particular player? I understand the frustration when you're trying to have an RP session with your friends and develop your story when some jackass starts dancing naked in between you, or doing noisy emotes or ground-effect spells or something. But I'm not sure what the company can reasonably do about that. For RP servers, I've always felt the "RP" tag was pretty much just that, a tag for people to know that role playing is encouraged on that server and you're likely to find other people to role play with. It's an indicator and nothing else.
While I understand the implication of gray areas or who should really be calling the shots, some things are pretty cut and dry. If you make a character that looks like and is named Donald Trump, and then go on to be a "deplorable" to people, you're not exactly trying to fit the theme established by the setting. Like with the naked dancing, if attempting to correlate to a true setting, you'd probably get thrown out of the tavern or have guards escorting you to a cell for disorderly conduct. Overall, that doesn't "happen" because AI and such isn't configured for it, but at the same time, GMs make a poor last resort.
While I RP more on MU*s, myself, I've always been more inclined to pick the RP servers of games I pick up because the general population tends to be more laid back about the actual mechanical aspects of the game proper. I've never felt pressured to RP, and if someone chances onto me out in the wild and starts up something, I might play along relative to some head canon I have established for my usual name choices/archetypes. For the most part, it's pretty much safe to say that anything not in say/emote range should be considered OOC, even if someone wants to act ICly in that OOC context.
Smut play is something I can't bring myself to be inherently against, but at the same time, understand why doing it in "public" is irksome (children, personal sensibilities, some people being god awful at it, etc.). This is one of those instances where personal housing and the like is a good thing where people interested in such can isolate themselves and do what-the-****-ever. Yet, not all games have that, and I'm also cognizant of the reality some people actually get off by doing things in public. And since say/emote code rarely considers obstructions like walls or doors, we get stuck in a situation where games that lack private settings either mean moving to tells/whispers or getting everyone else in on the act whether we like it or not. Which also takes us back to the naked dancing example of how the world would handle it. And to just play off my sig a bit, the US does have things fairly screwed up with its glorification of violence, but shaming of any and all things sexual. Then stuff like Game of Thrones comes along and winds up popular, in part, because it's HBO flipping those norms the bird.
Guess part of me feels like the fact we're even having this conversation emphasizes how absent the RP element has actually become in MMOs. I know some would try to spin that as what role you play in the trinity, but it's not the whole picture. Oh well.