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#252 May 02 2017 at 5:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
You're not that good of a skimmer if you think moving and my reasons for considering divorced are in some way related.

I'm okay with that Smiley: thumbsup
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#253 May 02 2017 at 6:25 PM Rating: Good
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Has it occurred to you that the "one person" is you? I think I mentioned this earlier in the thread, but I'll say it again. I think a huge part of your problem is that you're looking for validation outside of yourself. You keep looking to others to make you feel better about yourself. But what you should really be doing is figuring out how to be happy with yourself, for what you are, not what you think others see in you.



Yeah. I think about that, actually. You have said it before. Other people have said it before. I'm 100% certain that if I went and saw some kind of therapist they would say the same thing.

Right now I'm alone. Wife is at work for the next 12 hours. Kids are sleeping. When they're not sleeping they keep to themselves and expect me to do the same. It's times like now that are really what kill me. It's Spring break so there are no classes this week. So I am stuck with myself for another day, just like every other day. It's how I imagine an animal in captivity must feel. It has always been this way-- since as far back as I can remember, only in different settings with different people involved over the years.

The only time it has ever been different was during those months I had someone calling me every day. Someone to interact with. It is reasonable for me to believe that is what I want considering how things were different during that time. It was different in a good way. I felt engaged in life in some way. I had something to look forward to every day. --and now things are just like they were before that person was in my life. --and now it is worse, because I think about those days and how they're gone forever. I think about what I might have been able to do differently to prevent them from ending, or how I might be able to bring them back.

It is reasonable to believe that because there was once such a person that made that sort of difference, it could perhaps happen again. It is difficult to imagine that one person being myself. I have read some things online about cognitive therapy and how I am supposed to challenge negative thoughts and ideas and replace them with self-complimenting ones. I don't really know what to think about that. It's like I'm supposed to become some kind of narcissist for the sake of survival, and I don't understand how that could even work. I don't really understand. All I know is I don't want to want to be here sitting in this room like this. All I know is there is no place I can go that would be any different, and there is no person out in the world somewhere who could replace what I had, or even come close.

Edited, May 3rd 2017 12:29am by Kuwoobie
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#254 May 03 2017 at 6:54 AM Rating: Good
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I think you need a hobby or to be doing activities. Take the kids to a park or something.
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#255 May 03 2017 at 10:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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Take up macrame and sell your crafts on Etsy. Surprise your next object of obsession with some knotted jute lingerie.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#256 May 03 2017 at 2:46 PM Rating: Good
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I've actually been busy setting up a new Minecraft RPG server. It's online now if anyone cares to see it. There will be a whitelist in place until it is ready for randoms to join.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#257 May 07 2017 at 5:30 AM Rating: Good
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Read these 2 books by Dale Carnegie

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

How to Win Friends and Influence People
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#258 May 12 2017 at 1:54 AM Rating: Good
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I'm starting to think that things are changing-- now that I've left my cave and joined the rest of the world so to speak.

I am very rapidly overcoming my learned helplessness. Last year, I thought for sure that my experience with the woman from the comic store was damning evidence that I did not belong amongst the general population-- a confirmation of my fear that I was completely unsuitable for existence. I thought myself to be literal human garbage because up to that point that is the only kind of reaction from people I have ever known.

But things are different now... I think it began with the with the very public acclaim from my World Lit teacher. My classmates began to look to me for answers, which turned into casual conversation. I think it was at this point that I no longer felt saturated in a sea of indifference. Today, everyone seems to know my name. People walk by in the halls and say "hello" and shake my hand. There is a girl who sits at the table next to me in Anatomy and Physiology who can't seem to stop touching me-- and I welcome her advances. It feels good. For the first time, I feel I am becoming confident. Perhaps I am not so hideous and disgusting after all. Perhaps I look professional wearing scrubs every day, even though I am still a student. Maybe things will be different now.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#259 May 12 2017 at 8:17 AM Rating: Good
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****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#260 May 12 2017 at 11:18 AM Rating: Good
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Glad to hear you're on an upswing, Kuwoobie! Fly high, but don't forget about Icarus and all that. Cheers!
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#261 May 12 2017 at 11:41 AM Rating: Good
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Pft, not only would the Sun not have melted his wings, but Icarus should have flown higher. Fly as high as you can.
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#263 May 12 2017 at 4:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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If Icarus wasn't so weak, he could have flown over the sun and away from its damning heat!
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#264 May 12 2017 at 10:13 PM Rating: Good
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Kavekkk wrote:
****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.


Kavekkk, I have dispatched all seven of your previous assailants; their skulls now adorn my front gate. I have run out of space so your madness must end.
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#265 May 21 2017 at 6:32 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
Kavekkk wrote:
****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.


Kavekkk, I have dispatched all seven of your previous assailants; their skulls now adorn my front gate. I have run out of space so your madness must end.


I find the hats you've put on them quite endearing. Especially the one with the top hat.
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#266 May 21 2017 at 8:07 AM Rating: Good
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Sogoro wrote:
Timelordwho wrote:
Kavekkk wrote:
****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.


Kavekkk, I have dispatched all seven of your previous assailants; their skulls now adorn my front gate. I have run out of space so your madness must end.


I find the hats you've put on them quite endearing. Especially the one with the top hat.


That one was from San Diego. I wanted to ensure that he stayed classy, even in death.
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#267 May 23 2017 at 7:20 AM Rating: Good
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I sent an elephant this time. Hopefully the skull will be too heavy and bring down the gate, stripping you of your first layer of defence.

You are also free to drown in its blood, if you like.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#268 May 23 2017 at 10:40 PM Rating: Good
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It still hasn't arrived, so it's either lost or more stealthy than I'd have expected
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#269 May 24 2017 at 7:34 AM Rating: Good
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Tactical stealth elephants are impressive close range, but it's their sea to land oxpeckers you've really got to look out for.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#270 May 25 2017 at 7:57 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
It still hasn't arrived, so it's either lost or more stealthy than I'd have expected


It's a bull elephant, it's not eligible for next day delivery. It'll be there in 5-7 business days.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
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