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Joke of the Day 1-05-04Follow

#1 Jan 05 2004 at 11:49 AM Rating: Good
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5,492 posts
Thats right.... im back. with everyones favorite post!!!!!

there will be 2 here so enjoy!!!!


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It's Not What you Know, It's Who You...

Four gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, not to be outdone, says how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man continues on how his son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line of business his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's a practicing homosexual."

"But, on the bright side," he says, forcing smile, "he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

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Last day on the job...


It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house, they handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom, where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, fresh squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, '***** him. Give him a dollar.' -- The breakfast was my idea."

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