Allakhaz: Did you fire Illia or Danalog? :: Final Fantasy XIV (FFXIV, FF14)

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#1 Mar 13 2006 at 10:44 AM Rating: Good

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Sage

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Front page of Alla's wrote:

Programmer Job Opening Submitted by: Allakhazam

Allakhazam.com has an opening for a skilled perl programmer who loves MMORPG's. This is a full time paid position that lets you program out of your own home. We require extensive and practical knowledge of and experience using perl, mysql, xhtml and javascript. Web design and graphics experience are a plus. We also require someone who has significant experience playing various MMORPG's. The job will entail helping to develop additional features for current Allakhazam game databases, development of other site features, and the development for databases for games we don't yet cover and ones that have yet to come out. If you are interested, please send a cover letter and full resume to allakhazam@allakhazam.com that details both your computer and gaming experience. We will pay a salary compatable with industry standards. Please use the heading "Job Opening" in your e-mail.

It's about time good riddance! Erm, I mean so what gives? Smiley: dubious

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#2 Mar 13 2006 at 10:46 AM Rating: Good

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they are expanding! Maybe getting geared up for a Dungeons and Dragons section?

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#3 Mar 13 2006 at 11:09 AM Rating: Decent

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Vanguard? D&D: Online really isn't worthy of it's own section.

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#4 Mar 13 2006 at 11:18 AM Rating: Good

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GreatBadger wrote:

Vanguard? D&D: Online really isn't worthy of it's own section.

there is a new D&D MMO that just came out last week. Stormforge or some Shit like that.

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#5 Mar 13 2006 at 11:20 AM Rating: Good

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Dear Allakhazam,

I would like to apply for the programming position you have available. I have extensive knowledge of every game detailed on your website, not through actual playing, but from detailed opinions voiced by members of The Asylum.

As for actual programming experience, how hard could it be? It's all Word documents right? I am prepared to immediately and convincingly lie about any programming requirements not related to Word.

You may feel free to assume that I possess any other requirements not listed here. Given my obvious skills, I'm sure you see no need to put any of my skills to the test before hiring.

As a show of good faith you should immediately begin sending paychecks. Please PM me for the address where you can mail them.

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome myself to the team (as I'm sure my hiring is a forgone conclusion), and ask that you immediately upgrade my status to Administrator.

Have a nice day.

P.S. This job does include hawt cyb0rs with DSD right?

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#7 Mar 13 2006 at 11:24 AM Rating: Good

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I tossed my hat in the ring. Doubt I have enough perl experience for them, but I can hope.

Off my kool-aid bitCh! Smiley: mad

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#8 Mar 13 2006 at 11:27 AM Rating: Excellent

Jophiel

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How about me, Mr. Alla? What I lack in programming experience, I make up for in sheer moxie!!

I took a BASIC class in high school, if that helps

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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.

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#9 Mar 13 2006 at 11:30 AM Rating: Decent

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there is a new D&D MMO that just came out last week. Stormforge or some **** like that.

I know, I was in the beta and it was absolutely terrible.

Hence me saying: It doesn't deserve it's own section.

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#10 Mar 13 2006 at 12:23 PM Rating: Excellent

Danalog

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Yeah, basically as we expand we need more people. At first it was just Illia programming, then they hired me, then Ag, Rale, and Nizdaar to various degrees. Now we need another, just to keep up.

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#11 Mar 13 2006 at 12:27 PM Rating: Excellent

Jophiel

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Maybe if you weren't wasting your time here...

What's my ten cents a day buying me???

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Belkira wrote:

Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.

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#12 Mar 13 2006 at 12:33 PM Rating: Decent

xythex

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It's about time they dedicated someone to getting me my 6.3 back.

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Oh hell camp me all you want f**kers. I own this site and thus I own you. - Allakhazam

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#13 Mar 13 2006 at 12:43 PM Rating: Decent

Kelvyquayo

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I learned COBOL in HS Smiley: grin

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With the receiver in my hand..

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#15 Mar 13 2006 at 12:51 PM Rating: Excellent

Jophiel

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Kelvyquayo, Eater of Souls wrote:

I learned COBOL in HS Smiley: grin

What's yer moxie like?

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Belkira wrote:

Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.

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#17 Mar 13 2006 at 12:58 PM Rating: Good

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Here's another way to approach the problem. Have the admins that can actually code Perl focus on that, and get people who will work for much less to simply mod the forums. take me for example, I'd make a great mod. I have a love for [:iwin:] buttons and all things shiney. This would be a better investment of time and money if you ask me. Smiley: grin

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#18 Mar 13 2006 at 12:58 PM Rating: Decent

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I failed a course in computing at school. I'm pretty sure that makes me qualified for the job.

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#19 Mar 13 2006 at 1:02 PM Rating: Excellent

Danalog

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Jophiel wrote:

Maybe if you weren't wasting your time here...

What's my ten cents a day buying me???

I don't post on here that much! Mainly between tasks

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#20 Mar 13 2006 at 1:03 PM Rating: Decent

Kelvyquayo

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I don't post on here that much! Mainly between tasks

heh, that's waht I say.

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#21 Mar 13 2006 at 1:04 PM Rating: Excellent

Danalog

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and most of the forum "moderation" work I do is to user accounts (changing names, IP Banning, etc). IE, stuff that a non-data-accessing mod couldn't do anyway.

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#22 Mar 13 2006 at 1:05 PM Rating: Excellent

Danalog

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2963 posts since Fri, Aug 18th 11:10 AM EST 2000
vs
9848 posts since Tue, Nov 18th 8:49 PM EST 2003

HMMMMMMMM

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#23 Mar 13 2006 at 1:06 PM Rating: Good

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Elderon the Wise wrote:

Here's another way to approach the problem. Have the admins that can actually code Perl focus on that, and get people who will work for much less to simply mod the forums. take me for example, I'd make a great mod. I have a love for [:iwin:] buttons and all things shiney. This would be a better investment of time and money if you ask me. Smiley: grin

I like that idea, actually.

I could mod the FFXI Forum, since I'm in there often, and/or the Siren Server forum; since I was modding that in my journal before Allah decided to finally add official ones.

I've been a moderator before and have never abused of the righteous admin powahs. The only two admins I know for FFXI atm are Haggan (which I rarely see anymore) and Pikko. I don't even think Haggan even plays FFXI anymore, so the only admin that actually plays the game in question would be Pikko.

I wouldn't mind modding for free, either. Don't take this as a "beggar trying to get some extra cash" thing. ((Though, it would be nice. Smiley: laugh

))

I would basically mod the forums from Mon-Fri at work.

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#24 Mar 13 2006 at 1:06 PM Rating: Excellent

Danalog

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Sir Exodus wrote:

I wouldn't mind modding for free, either. Don't take this as a "beggar trying to get some extra cash" thing. ((Though, it would be nice. Smiley: laugh

))

Allakhazam doesn't believe in volunteer work

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#26 Mar 13 2006 at 1:13 PM Rating: Good

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Danalog the Vengeful Programmer wrote:

and most of the forum "moderation" work I do is to user accounts (changing names, IP Banning, etc). IE, stuff that a non-data-accessing mod couldn't do anyway.

I know SQL like the back of my hand, and know my way around Linux.

Danalog the Vengeful Programmer wrote:

Allakhazam doesn't believe in volunteer work

Good, because I don't work for free.

There, I'm glad we settled that. Have your people call my people and we can setup an appointment. Smiley: wink2

Edit: Plus I leet haxxored you guys. You already know I pwn.

Edited, Mon Mar 13 13:17:12 2006 by Elderon

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Allakhaz: Did you fire Illia or Danalog?Follow