Forum Settings
       
Reply To Thread

Dammit Japa---Wait...China?Follow

#1 Jun 25 2014 at 1:03 PM Rating: Good
Citizen's Arrest!
******
29,527 posts
So, this showed up on my Facebook feed today and I can't help but think that it's some kind of real life adaptation of Wall-E ****. Needless to say, Mildly NSFW.



Quote:
A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. I’m all for hands-free technology, but have scientists gone a little too far with this invention?

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.

According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. We're not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable. Here’s to technology.
#2 Jun 25 2014 at 1:13 PM Rating: Excellent
*******
50,767 posts
The next glorious step towards the creation of Sex Droids.

Except it's made in China which I kind of expect to start reading about how one or two machines exploded while someone was using.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#3 Jun 25 2014 at 1:17 PM Rating: Good
Citizen's Arrest!
******
29,527 posts
lolgaxe wrote:
The next glorious step towards the creation of Sex Droids.
Strangely enough, now that you mention it, my feed also had something on Japanese sex dolls this morning. It has been a weird day.
#4 Jun 25 2014 at 1:19 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
lolgaxe wrote:
Except it's made in China which I kind of expect to start reading about how one or two machines exploded while someone was using.

"Sir, according to the lab results, your sperm is 77% lead."
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Jun 25 2014 at 1:21 PM Rating: Good
Gave Up The D
Avatar
*****
12,281 posts
All they need now is the machine that massages the prostate at the same time.
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#6 Jun 25 2014 at 1:26 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
All they need now is the machine that massages the prostate cooks a steak at the same time.

____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#7 Jun 25 2014 at 1:28 PM Rating: Good
Gave Up The D
Avatar
*****
12,281 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
All they need now is the machine that massages the prostate cooks a steak at the same time.



Never trust a machine to cook your steak.
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#8 Jun 25 2014 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
*****
13,666 posts
Needs more tentacles.
____________________________
That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#9 Jun 25 2014 at 1:34 PM Rating: Good
Prodigal Son
******
20,643 posts
I foresee they'll find a freshly dead, moderately dehydrated body hooked up to one of these things with a gallon of deposit and Starcraft 2 hacked onto the screen.
____________________________
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#10 Jun 25 2014 at 1:43 PM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,781 posts
Is it a new controller or just the console?


____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#11 Jun 25 2014 at 3:51 PM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
******
29,360 posts
Between this:

Debalic wrote:
I foresee they'll find a freshly dead, moderately dehydrated body hooked up to one of these things with a gallon of deposit and Starcraft 2 hacked onto the screen.


and this:

the article wrote:
standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow


I'm thinkin' epic LAN party.

____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#12 Jun 25 2014 at 11:19 PM Rating: Good
*****
15,952 posts
Coughing fit from laughing so hard.
#13 Jun 26 2014 at 7:46 AM Rating: Good
*******
50,767 posts
Elinda wrote:
Is it a new controller or just the console?
Console, you have to plug in the controller. Sarkeesian can do a video about it.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#14 Jun 26 2014 at 7:50 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
lolgaxe wrote:
Sarkeesian can do a video about it.

Smiley: laugh
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Jun 26 2014 at 8:04 AM Rating: Good
Citizen's Arrest!
******
29,527 posts
lolgaxe wrote:
Sarkeesian can do a video about it.
In 4-6 years, if her track record for timeliness is any indication.
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 376 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (376)