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#3602 Mar 28 2017 at 6:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kao don't read this.











Spiders gonna eat us all.
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#3603 Mar 29 2017 at 8:47 AM Rating: Excellent
https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
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#3604 Mar 29 2017 at 9:34 AM Rating: Good
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That first "hairy cluster" of "spiders"... I'm pretty sure those aren't spiders. Those are those Harvestmen or Daddy Long Legs or what ever they go by colloquially, I've never actually known their real name. While 8 legged, I'm pretty sure they aren't considered spiders because their body is only one piece.
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#3605 Mar 29 2017 at 11:03 AM Rating: Good
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It's just a good thing none of them are unionizing or we'd really be in trouble. If spiders got organized there would be no stopping them.

At least until they'd need to pay union dues.
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#3606 Apr 06 2017 at 11:15 AM Rating: Good
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King Louie wrote:
Police in Northern India made a startling discovery in a remote nature preserve near the Nepal border: an 8-year-old girl living “comfortably” alongside a troop of monkeys, according to a report.

The child was so acclimated to her simian lifestyle at the Katarniaghat Wildlife Sanctuary, that when the cops tried to rescue the real life “Mowgli girl,” both the apes, and the child — screeched at them, the Times of India reported.

“She was terrified of us, she could not speak or hear properly. She was surrounded by three monkeys. She had wounds on her body specifically on her elbow and one on her leg. She was wearing clothes but not very dirty,” Inspector Ram Avtar told Cover Asia Press, adding that the girl appeared to be abandoned by her family.

“She looked weak and was very hungry. We gave her some food to eat. She looked miserable. If we hadn’t rescued her she could have been eaten by other animals.”

The girl has been in a district hospital for two months — and workers are still trying to teach her how to communicate and walk with two legs, CAP reported.

“When she was admitted here she was scared of us and she was always cowling like animals, like monkeys. She had wounds on her body and blood was oozing. We took care of her, bathed her, fed her and cleaned her. She was suffering from malnutrition. She might have eaten what animals did. She gets angry sometimes and we have to calm her down,” Chief Medical Officer Dr. Dinesh Singh told CAP.

Doctors said she acts violently sometimes and for some reason, she also refuses to eat from a plate and will only eat directly off her bedsheets.

Video posted by the Mirror UK shows her thrashing across a hospital bed as she screeches like a monkey.

She’ll eventually be sent to the government’s child protection office, doctors said.
Source

Edited, Apr 6th 2017 1:16pm by lolgaxe
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#3607 Apr 06 2017 at 3:29 PM Rating: Good
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Funny, I was just reading an article about that monkey girl, and when I read the title aloud, my response was "Lucky bitch!"
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#3608 Apr 06 2017 at 5:16 PM Rating: Good
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
Funny, I was just reading an article about that monkey girl, and when I read the title aloud, my response was "Lucky bitch!"

But isn't that how AIDS started?
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#3609 Apr 06 2017 at 5:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
Funny, I was just reading an article about that monkey girl, and when I read the title aloud, my response was "Lucky bitch!"

You're thinking of the girl who was raised by wolves.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3610 Apr 10 2017 at 10:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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It's like a crouton, but a bit more zesty.
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#3611 Apr 10 2017 at 10:57 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
article wrote:
Walmart has issued a recall on a packaged salad after Florida
Of ******* course.
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#3612 Apr 10 2017 at 11:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
article wrote:
Walmart has issued a recall on a packaged salad after Florida
Of ******* course.
To be expected. Where else would people start eating their salad without realizing there was a dead bat in it?

Edited, Apr 10th 2017 10:03am by someproteinguy
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#3613 Apr 10 2017 at 11:16 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Where else would people start eating their salad without realizing there was a dead bat in it?
There's an Ozzy Osbourne riff in there somewhere.
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#3614 Apr 10 2017 at 11:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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Whenever I see a photo of a bag of salad with a tree frog or something in it, I'm always a little jealous that it wasn't me finding it. The eight-year old in my brain would be thrilled to get a free tropical frog instead of just salad.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3615 Apr 10 2017 at 11:43 AM Rating: Good
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That's actually their new Bushmeat salad inspired by the recent ebola outbreaks.
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#3616 Apr 11 2017 at 12:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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Salad so good it makes you foam at the mouth!
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#3617 Apr 18 2017 at 7:27 AM Rating: Good
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Russia building a Terminator, though they claim it isn't a Terminator because it's actually a Final Experimental Demonstration Object Research, and they say they're going to shoot it into space.

Actually it kind of looks like one of the failed Robocops from the second movie, or failed Iron Mans ... which was also from the second one.
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George Carlin wrote:
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#3618 Apr 18 2017 at 8:56 AM Rating: Excellent
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Is there a good reason to have it hold guns rather than just, you know, giving it gun-hands? Is it going to be playing the piano or signing checks?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3619 Apr 18 2017 at 9:06 AM Rating: Good
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Wouldn't be much of a human exterminating machine if it ran out of ammo and couldn't pick up the weapons of the fallen resistance.
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#3620 Apr 18 2017 at 9:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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There's probably a good amount of utility to letting a robot use any random weapon, rather than forcing it to use specially designed guns and ammunition. Something, something military-industrial complex is a tool of filthy capitalists.
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#3621 Apr 18 2017 at 9:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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Well, it doesn't have to be "specialty designed" ammo -- there's a billion types of ammo to choose from already depending on the caliber arm-gun they install. Adding fingers seems like unnecessary complexity and potential failure if the hands get damaged. But, hey, I'm not a war-robot scientist. Why not just give it a big knife to hold like the combat suits in Avatar?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3622 Apr 18 2017 at 10:01 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Why not just give it a big knife to hold like the combat suits in Avatar?
Well, these are Russian. The Japanese versions will be all about knives, swords, and glowing hands that roar loudly to grasp victory.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#3623 Apr 18 2017 at 4:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Well, it doesn't have to be "specialty designed" ammo -- there's a billion types of ammo to choose from already depending on the caliber arm-gun they install. Adding fingers seems like unnecessary complexity and potential failure if the hands get damaged. But, hey, I'm not a war-robot scientist. Why not just give it a big knife to hold like the combat suits in Avatar?
You want your expensive robot to bring a knife to a gun fight? Smiley: dubious

To be fair though, I'm not sure why they would just use cheaply available human labor if that was the case. There's got to be some refugees who'd be happy to risk their life in exchange for a visa or similar.
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#3624 Apr 21 2017 at 5:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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Could talk about my unread PMs from 2014 (sorry, I have no idea about lolking; same with itemcollector naming). Or the 710 threads I'm "following" (for very small values of following in 3+ years). Also. Hai.
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#3625 Apr 21 2017 at 8:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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Hai.

I like to be hearing about the PMs.

Smiley: popcorn
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#3626 Apr 21 2017 at 11:10 AM Rating: Excellent
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Well this is a new one. Basically trying to profit from the stock price drop that would have been caused by killing off several key players after bombing the team bus.

I mean, kudos for trying something interesting and all, but there's gotta be a better way to make money. Smiley: rolleyes
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#3627 Apr 21 2017 at 11:18 AM Rating: Good
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If I tried that the Mets' stock price would only rise. Smiley: glare
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George Carlin wrote:
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#3628 Apr 21 2017 at 12:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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That like sounds a lot safer bet, and you're probably more skilled at blowing stuff up too. This could work.
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
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