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Everything you wanted to know about FFXIV (Joke Thread)Follow

#1 Aug 18 2010 at 12:51 PM Rating: Good
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So here's how the game works.

First you answer the question the poster above you asks, then you ask a new question. The question must be FFXIV related and asked in a serious manner. The answer must be wrong, It can be either partially or complete wrong, it can be slightly off or borderline absurd, but all answers must be wrong. Have some fun with it.

First question: Why aren't there Chocobos in FFXIV yet?
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#2 Aug 18 2010 at 12:53 PM Rating: Good
15 posts
Cuss SE cooked them and said there be feeding it to FFXV

Why isnt there a beta on PS3 yet?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:53pm by Hiroke
#3 Aug 18 2010 at 12:55 PM Rating: Good
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Hiroke wrote:
Why isnt there a beta on PS3 yet?


PC Limitations.

Who would win in a duel: A Botanist or a Blacksmith?
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Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
Mikhalia: only 5% or less of my posts are utter crap.
Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#4 Aug 18 2010 at 12:58 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Who would win in a duel: A Botanist or a Blacksmith?


A Botanist, /em Throws Poison Oak at Mikh > /Em Throws Hammer of Justice
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#5 Aug 18 2010 at 12:58 PM Rating: Good
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281 posts
AW **** forgot to ask a Q. :

Why is the beta just so **** glitchy?
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#6 Aug 18 2010 at 12:58 PM Rating: Good
15 posts
Chuck noris (cuss it has to be said)


Why is there no AH?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:59pm by Hiroke
#7 Aug 18 2010 at 1:00 PM Rating: Decent
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Because Bazaars make them obsolete.

Why isn't there a Samurai or Ninja job option?
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#8 Aug 18 2010 at 1:02 PM Rating: Decent
15 posts
cuss sheperd is comeing out


why is there no moogle slaves
#9 Aug 18 2010 at 1:03 PM Rating: Excellent
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791 posts
Because Tom Cruise was The Last Samurai and he lost his mind, and you don't see ninjas: ninjas see you!

How will the mouse function in FFXIV?

Edit: balls, not fast enough. Disregard.

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:04pm by BottlecapBandit
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#10 Aug 18 2010 at 1:03 PM Rating: Good
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Hiroke wrote:
cuss sheperd is comeing out


why is there no moogle slaves


The ECLU complained.

What happens when you try to change job mid combat?
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Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
Mikhalia: only 5% or less of my posts are utter crap.
Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#11 Aug 18 2010 at 1:05 PM Rating: Excellent
15 posts
You turn into a sign that says useless


What happens when a mage runs out of MP in FFXIV?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:05pm by Hiroke
#12 Aug 18 2010 at 1:07 PM Rating: Good
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791 posts
Hiroke wrote:
You turn into a sign that says useless


What happens when a mage runs out of MP in FFXIV?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:05pm by Hiroke


The mage's armor durability is instantly reduced to zero.

Why can't my Lancer have a Mitsubishi mount?
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#13 Aug 18 2010 at 1:10 PM Rating: Good
15 posts
Cus SE is comes from mars and rides yellow birds



Why do lalafels not have brown noses?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:10pm by Hiroke
#14 Aug 18 2010 at 1:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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Because it would take way too many licks to get to its center.

Why are morbols perpetually disgruntled?
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#15 Aug 18 2010 at 1:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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Mainly because they have a thorn in their paw, but also they have zero friends.


What happened to the galka's tails?
#16 Aug 18 2010 at 1:18 PM Rating: Decent
15 posts
SE took it out saying it was to "girly"


Why are tarus pervs?
#17 Aug 18 2010 at 1:21 PM Rating: Excellent
13 posts
Quote:
Mainly because they have a thorn in their paw, but also they have zero friends.


What happened to the galka's tails?


Docked. Too many GM calls with subject "Tails Gone Wild"... the GMs were disappointed to find out that they were always in reference to Galka and not Mithra.

How many Lalafell does it take to ***** in a lightbulb?
#18 Aug 18 2010 at 1:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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One, to give the Elezen a steak, a beer, and a BJ while the Elezen screws it in.

What happened to the lost stash of beta keys?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:31pm by Oenos
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#19 Aug 18 2010 at 1:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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Oenos wrote:
One, to give the Elezen a steak, a beer, and a BJ while the Elezen screws it in.

What happened to the lost stash of beta keys?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:28pm by Oenos


A: Beta keys are now a perk for pre ordering the free trial version of the game.

Q: What kind of system do I need to run FFXIV?
#20 Aug 18 2010 at 1:31 PM Rating: Good
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Beat to the punch

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:31pm by Callipho
#21 Aug 18 2010 at 1:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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A gamecube, duh.

Will the pirates be involved with moogle trafficking?
#22 Aug 18 2010 at 1:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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MongooseQueen wrote:
A gamecube, duh.

Will the pirates be involved with moogle trafficking?


They already ARRRRR

What's the quickest way to Ishgard?
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[ffxisig]55836[/ffxisig]

Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
Mikhalia: only 5% or less of my posts are utter crap.
Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#23 Aug 18 2010 at 1:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
They already ARRRRR


So perfect it hurt my insides.
#24 Aug 18 2010 at 1:53 PM Rating: Good
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In a chariot pulled by smurfs.

What the h*ll is Ishgard?
#25 Aug 18 2010 at 1:55 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
What's the quickest way to Ishgard?


Through the shadowy depths of Moria.

Why isn't there any highlander females?
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#26 Aug 18 2010 at 1:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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Cuz there all in the kitchen makin me a sandwich!

What is the kid in the video with horns?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:58pm by Puppy1
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#27 Aug 18 2010 at 2:01 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
What is the kid in the video with horns?


His Girlfriend was cheating on him.

When do we get information on new classes?

Edit: Hey I'm Blue now, dabadee daba dieeee.

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:02pm by Pabe
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#28 Aug 18 2010 at 2:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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In Beta Stage 4.

y cant i jump in teh gaem??!?
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#29 Aug 18 2010 at 2:03 PM Rating: Good
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Puppy1 wrote:
Cuz there all in the kitchen makin me a sandwich!

What is the kid in the video with horns?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:58pm by Puppy1


Because ICO ran out of business and their designers now work for SE

How I mine for fish?
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#30 Aug 18 2010 at 2:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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cant jump in teh game Due to the high gravitaional pull

Why is there no job description in the game for a NPC or a player who specializes in Pciking up Chocobo ****. Come on people with all thoes chocobos your bounds to step in a pile sooner or later! Where are the cleaners?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:05pm by Puppy1
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I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#31 Aug 18 2010 at 2:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
y cant i jump in teh gaem??!?


PS2 limitations.


What happened to my faithful moogle servant?
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#32 Aug 18 2010 at 2:09 PM Rating: Excellent
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I had to take him out behind the shed and shoot him. He will be missed.

A miquo'te, a lallafel, and a highlander walk into a bar. What happens next?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:09pm by khorbin
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"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
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#33 Aug 18 2010 at 2:10 PM Rating: Good
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Puppy1 wrote:
cant jump in teh game Due to the high gravitaional pull

Why is there no job description in the game for a NPC or a player who specializes in Pciking up Chocobo ****. Come on people with all thoes chocobos your bounds to step in a pile sooner or later! Where are the cleaners?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:05pm by Puppy1


Janitor Class Ability - "I Quit This *****!"

EDIT - Disregard

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:12pm by Mikhalia
____________________________
[ffxisig]55836[/ffxisig]

Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
Mikhalia: only 5% or less of my posts are utter crap.
Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#34 Aug 18 2010 at 2:12 PM Rating: Good
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11,539 posts
khorbin wrote:
I had to take him out behind the shed and shoot him. He will be missed.

A miquo'te, a lallafel, and a highlander walk into a bar. What happens next?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:09pm by khorbin


The Roegadyn helps them all up and rips the bar out so no one walks into it again.

What's the best weapon for a Pugilist?
____________________________
[ffxisig]55836[/ffxisig]

Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
Mikhalia: only 5% or less of my posts are utter crap.
Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#35 Aug 18 2010 at 2:12 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
Edit: you double posted :P

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

How many Hyur does it take to ***** in a light bulb?



Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:13pm by khorbin
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#36 Aug 18 2010 at 2:14 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:

How many Hyur does it take to ***** in a light bulb?


As many as it takes until you realized you should have made a lallafel.

Whar is teh PVP?!!!1
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#37 Aug 18 2010 at 2:16 PM Rating: Excellent
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Pabe wrote:
Quote:

How many Hyur does it take to ***** in a light bulb?


As many as it takes until you realized you should have made a lallafel.

Whar is teh PVP?!!!1


In your pants!

How many lalafells does it take to make a boat?
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I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#38 Aug 18 2010 at 2:17 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
Gyarrrr. Disregard.

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:19pm by khorbin
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#39 Aug 18 2010 at 2:18 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
How many lalafells does it take to make a boat?


Depends on how tightly you pack them together for the decking.

How do i regain MP?



Edit;
Quote:
What time does the airship arrive in Limsa?

The airships run on time.

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:20pm by Pabe
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#40 Aug 18 2010 at 2:21 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
Pabe wrote:
How do i regain MP?


Run back to your mog house.

How do airships fly?
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#41 Aug 18 2010 at 2:21 PM Rating: Excellent
13 posts
Quote:
How do i regain MP?


You can't, but you can eat plenty of psychedelic mushrooms and pretend you did.

EDIT: TOo late =/

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:21pm by sourmilk

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:23pm by sourmilk
#42 Aug 18 2010 at 2:21 PM Rating: Excellent
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198 posts
Quote:
How do airships fly?

Chocobo power.

What do you use to catch giant fish?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:22pm by Zalongamer
#43 Aug 18 2010 at 2:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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A giant puss.

Where are the female Rogadyn?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:23pm by Oenos
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#44 Aug 18 2010 at 2:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
dissregard

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:26pm by Puppy1
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#45 Aug 18 2010 at 2:26 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
I'll answer both the previous 2 questions, since the timimg was off:

Rampant homosexuality in both races has resulted in the evolutionary development of only one ***.

HOW I MINE FOR FISH?!

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:26pm by khorbin
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#46 Aug 18 2010 at 2:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
Why are there no male Miqo'te




The Human society had to issue a population control.

Quote:
HOW I MINE FOR FISH?!

With your trusty new pick-rod




Why must i wait 2 days to complete more leves?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:28pm by Pabe
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#47 Aug 18 2010 at 2:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
khorbin wrote:

HOW I MINE FOR FISH?!

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:26pm by khorbin

With flying elephants.

Quote:
Why must i wait 2 days to complete more leves?

Cuz they have to leave and come back

what do the malboroughs have so many tentacles? (enjoy answering this one)

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:28pm by Puppy1

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:29pm by Puppy1
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#48 Aug 18 2010 at 2:30 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
Puppy1 wrote:
khorbin wrote:

HOW I MINE FOR FISH?!

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:26pm by khorbin


With flying elephants.

what do the malboroughs have so many tentacles? (enjoy answering this one)

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:28pm by Puppy1


Makes it easier to handle the fact that they have 48 separate sexual organs.

What moon phase is it right now?
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#49 Aug 18 2010 at 2:32 PM Rating: Good
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550 posts
Moon over my hammy

Why did the chocobo cross the road?
____________________________
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#50 Aug 18 2010 at 2:33 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
He didn't--he wasn't implemented yet as of Beta Phase 3.

How many people who play XIV are real-life females?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:33pm by khorbin
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#51 Aug 18 2010 at 2:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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**
770 posts
there are no females on teh internet.

Why did the keeper of the moon reach for the stars?
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
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