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Everything you wanted to know about FFXIV (Joke Thread)Follow

#52 Aug 18 2010 at 2:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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Theres no womenz on the internetz!

What do a moogle and a lalafell have in common?
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#53 Aug 18 2010 at 2:38 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
How many people who play XIV are real-life females?

None. Girls don't exist in the internet.

How many people does it takes to beat a Lalafell Pugilist?

Edit: Too slow, disregard.
Funny how we all got the same answer, lol


Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:39pm by Skibit
#54 Aug 18 2010 at 2:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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34 posts
Quote:

Why did the keeper of the moon reach for the stars?

She got caught being a cat burglar

Quote:
What do a moogle and a lalafell have in common?


Dwarfism.

Quote:
How many people does it takes to beat a Lalafell Pugilist?


Science has yet to find any evidence on this theory.


How many licks does it take to get to the center of a moogle?


Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:43pm by Pabe
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#55 Aug 18 2010 at 2:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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577 posts
Pabe wrote:

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a moogle?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 2:43pm by Pabe


42. I tried this last night.

Why can't I leave the Limsa Lominsa area right now?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:46pm by khorbin
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"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
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#56 Aug 18 2010 at 2:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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its being seiged by goblins

What are weavers good for?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:47pm by Puppy1
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Church OF Mikhalia
#57 Aug 18 2010 at 2:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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34 posts
Quote:
What are weavers good for?


Hunh! absolutely nothing!



What color dyes do we get?
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#58 Aug 18 2010 at 2:51 PM Rating: Excellent
30 posts
Puppy1 wrote:


What are weavers good for?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:47pm by Puppy1


Makin' mah shiny new undies! Mmmm... undies...

How many frames of doodle bowling can YOU complete while waiting for your beta menus to open? (My personal best was 3 frames)

Side Note: If you have an iphone and don't have doodle bowling, exchange it for a Droid and never talk to me again. :D

#59 Aug 18 2010 at 2:53 PM Rating: Good
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6,898 posts
edit too slow

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:54pm by BartelX
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#60 Aug 18 2010 at 2:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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There is no haubergeon because I haven't made it yet XD


can we sacrifice lalafell like we did in XI?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:55pm by Speeral
#61 Aug 18 2010 at 2:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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9,526 posts
BartelX wrote:
Underwater baskets.

Where's my haubergeon?


it got made into hauburgers for the SE company picnic

why doesn't mana regen?

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lolgaxe wrote:
When it comes to sitting around not doing anything for long periods of time, only being active for short windows, and marginal changes and sidegrades I'd say FFXI players were the perfect choice for politicians.


#62 Aug 18 2010 at 2:56 PM Rating: Good
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577 posts
Olorinus wrote:

it got made into hauburgers for the SE company picnic

why doesn't mana regen?


Because Square-Enix hates you.

How do I unlock RDM as a job class?
____________________________
"So farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear,
Farewell remorse; all good to me is lost.
Evil, be thou my good."
-John Milton, Paradise Lost

Download Eorzea Clock for your android phone! Available FREE on the Android Market now!
#63 Aug 18 2010 at 2:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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473 posts
Quote:
it got made into hauburgers for the SE company picnic

why doesn't mana regen?



Bc SE decided to wave the nerf stick at mages because archers were already weaksauce


why are there so many manthra's?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:57pm by Speeral
#64 Aug 18 2010 at 2:57 PM Rating: Good
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550 posts
khorbin wrote:
Olorinus wrote:

it got made into hauburgers for the SE company picnic

why doesn't mana regen?


Because Square-Enix hates you.

How do I unlock RDM as a job class?


By pouring salt water on your motherboard.

Why is a puk like a writing desk?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 4:58pm by Oenos
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#65 Aug 18 2010 at 2:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Pabe wrote:
What color dyes do we get?


Plad

Why cant we swim in FFxiv
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I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

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Church OF Mikhalia
#66 Aug 18 2010 at 3:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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112 posts
Olorinus wrote:
BartelX wrote:
Underwater baskets.

Where's my haubergeon?


it got made into hauburgers for the SE company picnic

why doesn't mana regen?



Cause mages aren't starfish.

Why does SE want you to play with um by yourself?
____________________________
FFXI (BST 75, RDM 75, BLM 75, BRD 75) (along with many subs and cherished friends)

And on the 7th day God created Miqo'te.
On the 8th day God saw that they were sad and lonely, God then threw down a Squarenix staff member and thus was born the male Miqo'te.
#67 Aug 18 2010 at 3:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
Why cant we swim in FFxiv


There isn't a swimming class.

Quote:
Why does SE want you to play with um by yourself?

They believed it was too strenuous to find others to play with you.


Why are my crystal shards so chaotic?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:01pm by Pabe
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#68 Aug 18 2010 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
13 posts
Quote:

What color dyes do we get?


We get the Martha Stewart prison line... soft rust, cheerful gun metal, brown, and a full set of pastels.

What would Starbucks signature drink be called in Eorzea?
#69 Aug 18 2010 at 3:03 PM Rating: Excellent
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473 posts
Quote:
We get the Martha Stewart prison line... soft rust, cheerful gun metal, brown, and a full set of pastels.

What would Starbucks signature drink be called in Eorzea?



Chococino


what class would Allakhazam play?


Edited, Aug 18th 2010 5:05pm by Speeral

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 5:06pm by Speeral
#70 Aug 18 2010 at 3:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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112 posts
sourmilk wrote:
Quote:

What color dyes do we get?


We get the Martha Stewart prison line... soft rust, cheerful gun metal, brown, and a full set of pastels.

What would Starbucks signature drink be called in Eorzea?


Butterbeer, cause it's really Harry Potter the MMO.

Why do the jellyfish fly instead of swim?
____________________________
FFXI (BST 75, RDM 75, BLM 75, BRD 75) (along with many subs and cherished friends)

And on the 7th day God created Miqo'te.
On the 8th day God saw that they were sad and lonely, God then threw down a Squarenix staff member and thus was born the male Miqo'te.
#71 Aug 18 2010 at 3:04 PM Rating: Excellent
Scholar
34 posts
Quote:

What would Starbucks signature drink be called in Eorzea?


Cup of Steaming "Cocoa"bo

Quote:
Why do the jellyfish fly instead of swim?

FFXIV is actually a underwater MMO, which explains the no jump/swim features.


When do we get to transform our chocobos into gold chocobos?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:05pm by Pabe
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#72 Aug 18 2010 at 3:08 PM Rating: Excellent
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112 posts
Quote:
When do we get to transform our chocobos into gold chocobos?


When u play the dig up your chocobo mini game.


When do we get to use the ability 1000 needles?
____________________________
FFXI (BST 75, RDM 75, BLM 75, BRD 75) (along with many subs and cherished friends)

And on the 7th day God created Miqo'te.
On the 8th day God saw that they were sad and lonely, God then threw down a Squarenix staff member and thus was born the male Miqo'te.
#73 Aug 18 2010 at 3:10 PM Rating: Excellent
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**
770 posts
Quote:
When do we get to transform our chocobos into gold chocobos?


We havent got to the smelting refinery yet.

Quote:
When do we get to use the ability 1000 needles?


When a weaver buys enough needles adn throws them at people.

Whats the best class in FFXiv?


Edited, Aug 18th 2010 5:11pm by Puppy1
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#74 Aug 18 2010 at 3:13 PM Rating: Excellent
13 posts
Quote:
When do we get to use the ability 1000 needles?


When trying to avoid FCC fines after a superstar Miqo'te has a wardrobe malfunction.

What are the chances of replacing Chocobos with Segways?
#75 Aug 18 2010 at 3:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
sourmilk wrote:

What are the chances of replacing Chocobos with Segways?


Ill let you know after this comertial break! Speakign of breaks...

how do you fix your armor in ffxiv?
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#76 Aug 18 2010 at 3:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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198 posts
Quote:
how do you fix your armor in ffxiv?

You toss it in the water for a few years.

What class gets a cellphone to call a moogle for help?
#77 Aug 18 2010 at 3:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
Zalongamer wrote:

What class gets a cellphone to call a moogle for help?


Summoners

Why is the culinarians guild looking for moogles?
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#78 Aug 18 2010 at 3:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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34 posts
Quote:
What class gets a cellphone to call a moogle for help?


Mog Knight.


Quote:
Why is the culinarians guild looking for moogles?


They're a rare limsa lominsa delicacy

How come my retainer works free of charge?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 3:32pm by Pabe
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#79 Aug 18 2010 at 3:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
Hes slave that you bought of the black market years ago and treated him kindly and now hes your willing slave. Also he likes lookign at your ****.

Why do so many males play miqo'te

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 5:36pm by Puppy1

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 5:37pm by Puppy1
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#80 Aug 18 2010 at 4:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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362 posts
Puppy1 wrote:
Why do so many males play miqo'te


Because their arms aren't long enough to reach into others' pants and play yourqo'te.

What's with the design choices of narrow shoulders, wide hips, and thigh-high everything...?
____________________________
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#81 Aug 18 2010 at 4:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
WooShoo wrote:
Puppy1 wrote:
Why do so many males play miqo'te


Because their arms aren't long enough to reach into others' pants and play yourqo'te.

What's with the design choices of narrow shoulders, wide hips, and thigh-high everything...?


LMAO that answer made me LOL at work .. peopel looked at me funny :P

So more 12 year old players will think there moms dress normally when they go to work. (no offence ment to anybody with this comment. its just a joke after all)

Where is carnbuncle in the trailers?

____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#82 Aug 18 2010 at 4:16 PM Rating: Good
13 posts
Quote:
What class gets a cellphone to call a moogle for help?


It's a hidden crafting class discovered after capping alchemy and goldsmithing. Key Item: Sweat Shop or Key Item: Foxconn also a requirement. May cause cancer.

... and... ummm, I don't have a good question, so I'm just going to leave it at that and go to happy hour! Cheers.
#83 Aug 18 2010 at 4:20 PM Rating: Excellent
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112 posts
Quote:
Where is carnbuncle in the trailers?


Sliding down his rainbow licking his skittles because he can!


What happens if your avatar wants to go commando? Is it a new Class?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 6:23pm by Tolerance4u
____________________________
FFXI (BST 75, RDM 75, BLM 75, BRD 75) (along with many subs and cherished friends)

And on the 7th day God created Miqo'te.
On the 8th day God saw that they were sad and lonely, God then threw down a Squarenix staff member and thus was born the male Miqo'te.
#84 Aug 18 2010 at 4:27 PM Rating: Excellent
*
112 posts
Quote:
What happens if your avatar wants to go commando? Is it a new Class?


It's Called the DoP (Defense of Peek-a-boo) rated R for lingering shots from underneath.


What happens if your rod breaks?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 6:28pm by Tolerance4u
____________________________
FFXI (BST 75, RDM 75, BLM 75, BRD 75) (along with many subs and cherished friends)

And on the 7th day God created Miqo'te.
On the 8th day God saw that they were sad and lonely, God then threw down a Squarenix staff member and thus was born the male Miqo'te.
#85 Aug 18 2010 at 4:30 PM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
770 posts
Tolerance4u wrote:

What happens if your rod breaks?


Then you need more viagra.

Why cant we raise chocobos and then sell them to cooks to make us food?
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#86 Aug 18 2010 at 4:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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112 posts
Quote:
Why cant we raise chocobos and then sell them to cooks to make us food?


Because PETA would scream unjust treatment of animals in a game, and it's possible they have high concentration of Salmonella.

Why don't we have a Moghouse?
____________________________
FFXI (BST 75, RDM 75, BLM 75, BRD 75) (along with many subs and cherished friends)

And on the 7th day God created Miqo'te.
On the 8th day God saw that they were sad and lonely, God then threw down a Squarenix staff member and thus was born the male Miqo'te.
#87 Aug 18 2010 at 4:38 PM Rating: Good
Scholar
34 posts
Quote:
Why cant we raise chocobos and then sell them to cooks to make us food?


SE got boycotted by the SPCA.


How come they made a Lallafel the one to cry out "Land, ho!"?
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#88 Aug 18 2010 at 5:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
Quote:
Why don't we have a Moghouse?


It got burnt down in a fire

Quote:
How come they made a Lallafel the one to cry out "Land, ho!"?


Becasue hes the captains bi%$#


Why can beastmen summon things but we cant.

____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#89 Aug 18 2010 at 5:21 PM Rating: Good
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11,539 posts
Puppy1 wrote:
Why can beastmen summon things but we cant.



They imported their levels from FFXI.

What's the best angle for a Botanist to chop a tree?
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Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#90 Aug 18 2010 at 5:25 PM Rating: Good
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34 posts
Quote:
What's the best angle for a Botanist to chop a tree?


An unbiased angle.

Why are dodos in FFXIV?
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#91 Aug 18 2010 at 5:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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40 posts
Puppy1 wrote:

Why can beastmen summon things but we cant.



Because unlike players, the beastmen were not responsible for the slaughter of millions of crabs and mandies. Oh and pink birds, almost forgot them.

Edit: There are dodos because we already killed everything else in FFXI.

What race and class should I play?


Edited, Aug 18th 2010 7:31pm by NerdyGirl

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 7:31pm by NerdyGirl
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#92 Aug 18 2010 at 5:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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1,246 posts
What Race?

Female Goblin

How do I get in to the Beta?
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Meowth!
#93 Aug 18 2010 at 5:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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11,539 posts
ditx wrote:
How do I get in to the Beta?


I could tell you but it involves motor oil, a saddle, two pounds of Dutch Edam, and an infant.

What's the best mob to grind on in XIV?
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Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
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Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#94 Aug 18 2010 at 5:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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473 posts
Quote:
How do I get in to the Beta



depends on your age and gender, then again this isn't the catholic church, and SE doesn't say much
so its still a mystery.


how long will it take to weed out the wow EMO 12 year olds from FFXIV?
#95 Aug 18 2010 at 5:52 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
What's the best mob to grind on in XIV?


Miqo'te NPCs.


When is the open beta?
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#96 Aug 18 2010 at 5:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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11,539 posts
Pabe wrote:

When is the open beta?


September 22nd.

What's the best reason to preorder the CE?
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Mikhalia: and FWIW, my posts are 95% helpful, informative, or funny.
Mikhalia: only 5% or less of my posts are utter crap.
Tyapex: 393 posts of utter crap...
Mikhalia: Sounds about right.
#97 Aug 18 2010 at 5:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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1,566 posts
Pabe wrote:
Quote:
What's the best mob to grind on in XIV?


Miqo'te NPCs.


When is the open beta?



Sept. 22.



When will they reveal beastmaster of summoner for XIV?
#98 Aug 18 2010 at 5:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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Pabe wrote:
Quote:
What's the best mob to grind on in XIV?


Miqo'te NPCs.


When is the open beta?


September 22, 2010.

Why did the dodo cross the road?
#99 Aug 18 2010 at 5:55 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
Speeral wrote:

how long will it take to weed out the wow EMO 12 year olds from FFXIV?


Depends how many you can convince to go to emo.com/wrists (say it out loud)

Quote:
What's the best mob to grind on in XIV


Miqo'te how else you goign to make miqobobs..

How many WoW players will come to FFxiv to complain its not WoW.
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
#100 Aug 18 2010 at 5:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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473 posts
Quote:
What's the best reason to preorder the CE?



to beta test the final retail version and pull your hair out because of the long downloads
and server instability wasting your 8 day head start


which class will the first flavour of the week?
#101 Aug 18 2010 at 5:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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770 posts
Pikko wrote:

Why did the dodo cross the road?


it didnt. It went extinct before it could.

And flavor of teh week will be kachup!

How many cooks does it take to roast a lalafell?

Edited, Aug 18th 2010 7:58pm by Puppy1
____________________________
I do not suffer from insanity.. I rather enjoy it.

{retired} Devalynn Mithra WHM extrodinare -Garuda (gives everyone a high paw! yeah!)

Church OF Mikhalia
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