The updater is a horror, the game is beautiful, stick with it.
I found that for the first 20mins I would be around 8b/s then after 35kb/s dl speed. Best to leave it on overnight. If it times out restart and it will pick up from where it left off.
I did have some luck updating my laptop using bitorrent and copying the patch files to the correct folder using the instructions here: http://ffxiv.zam.com/forum.html?game=268&mid=1285185366169859554&page=1
For some reason this wouldn't cut it on my desktop. I did notice two torrent files in the metadata folder instead of one. After wasting 3hrs trying to manually patch I just used the SE updater and let it run its course, was patched by morning.
I did my patches before the 30th, that may have some bearing...?
How long have you just let the updater run, after you did your Port Forwarding before closing it?