Greetings and salutations, friends!
It is I, Earnest Namingway of Rabanastre, the reclusive author and noted genius resposible for such masterpieces as "The Old Hyur and the Sea" and "The Dodo Also Rises", both of which are now available in paperback! For those of you who might have missed these glorious works due to general malaise or outright illiteracy, I offer the following synopsis:
"The Old Hyur and the Sea" tells the tale of a grizzled fisherman who sets out to sea in order to cap his rank by landing the legendary tentacled beast Ultros. After many trials and tribulations (and copious consumption of Whiskey +1, which inexplicably only stacks to 12) the old hyur finally succeeds in his quest and captures the ferocious (and oddly talkative) monster. Elated, the proud fisherman affixes the massive body of Ultros to the stern of his vessel and drags it to shore. However, by the time the old hyur reaches land, he turns around and finds no trace of his conquest, for the body of Ultros had long ago fallen victim to the voracious appetite of a school of ravenous sea bass. ********** you, Sea Bass!" shouted the old hyur from the bottom of his heart. The moral of the story: Don't assume that everything in your loot list will actually make it into your inventory.
"The Dodo Also Rises" is the story of a Dodo named Jake who returns from war slightly less of a Dodo, if you know what I mean. But if you want to know more than that, I'm afraid you'll have to buy the book, which is now available in paperback!
"That's fantastic, Mr. Namingway! Where can I purchase multiple copies of your wonderful works?"
I'm glad you asked, anonymous voice from the Ether, here's how: Simply walk into your local market ward and wait patiently for my retainer Muriel to load--but you might want to pack yourself a few stacks of Whiskey +1, because she's a little slow.
Best Wishes and Regards,