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[NSFW] Review of FFXIVFollow

#1 Oct 18 2010 at 9:11 PM Rating: Excellent
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I found this on massively.com and laughed so hard, that I had to share. Enjoy!

Quote:
FFXIV is that super-hot chick who is totally out of your league and a beautiful soul deep down, who for some reason asks you back to her place.

But when you get there, it turns out her idea of a good time is to beat the snot out of you and jam stuff up your rear. Now... for some folks, this is exactly what they've been looking for but couldn't find anywhere else, and she's the ********** of their dreams. Good for them. Others are uncomfortable with it, but put up with it because OMG no, seriously, she is that hot and a wonderful person when you get to know her. But if you aren't a ********* and don't want to have to grit your teeth and try not to cry when you're trying to get your rocks off, back away. Your colon will thank you.

Who knows... maybe one day in six or twelve months time she'll call you up to let you know the BDSM stuff was just a phase, and now she doesn't play like a bad PS3 port with dominance issues on how you spend your time. Until then, there are plenty of fish in the sea... who don't require you to come up with a safe-word.
#2 Oct 18 2010 at 9:16 PM Rating: Decent
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wow too funny..
#3 Oct 18 2010 at 9:17 PM Rating: Decent
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Haha that's brilliant.
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#4 Oct 18 2010 at 9:24 PM Rating: Default
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I have to say I really like it. Pretty accurate at several level of depth. :)
#5 Oct 18 2010 at 9:28 PM Rating: Decent
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LOL, it is pretty darn close to what the game is. May not be the most technical way of saying things but he hit the mark with the ********* twist.
#6 Oct 18 2010 at 9:39 PM Rating: Good
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It that post was NSFW, the things I do are illegal in 10 different states.
#7 Oct 18 2010 at 9:43 PM Rating: Default
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Exactly why glorified bloggers who live in parent's basements don't make journalists.
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#8 Oct 18 2010 at 9:56 PM Rating: Decent
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Well I am into those things....

and I do like FFXIV....

Hmmmm....
#9 Oct 18 2010 at 10:03 PM Rating: Decent
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Smelly wrote:
Well I am into those things....

and I do like FFXIV....

Hmmmm....


Oh boy...
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#10 Oct 18 2010 at 10:09 PM Rating: Decent
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araraeuchiha wrote:
Smelly wrote:
Well I am into those things....

and I do like FFXIV....

Hmmmm....


Oh boy...


Oh piqued your interest have I?
#11 Oct 18 2010 at 11:56 PM Rating: Default
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I wonder how long it took him/her to think of that analogy.
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#12 Oct 19 2010 at 5:40 PM Rating: Decent
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thehellfire wrote:
Exactly why glorified bloggers who live in parent's basements don't make journalists.


Meh...Even if that's true - it's a step up from where you're sitting under your bridge - troll.
#13 Oct 19 2010 at 5:45 PM Rating: Excellent
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Tarutinkler the Irrelevant wrote:
I wonder how long it took him/her to think of that analogy.



My guess would be that it is directly related to the media watched while writing said article.

That said, I lol'd.
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#14 Oct 19 2010 at 5:58 PM Rating: Good
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Maarg wrote:
I found this on massively.com and laughed so hard, that I had to share. Enjoy!

Quote:
FFXIV is that super-hot chick who is totally out of your league and a beautiful soul deep down, who for some reason asks you back to her place.

But when you get there, it turns out her idea of a good time is to beat the snot out of you and jam stuff up your rear. Now... for some folks, this is exactly what they've been looking for but couldn't find anywhere else, and she's the ********** of their dreams. Good for them. Others are uncomfortable with it, but put up with it because OMG no, seriously, she is that hot and a wonderful person when you get to know her. But if you aren't a ********* and don't want to have to grit your teeth and try not to cry when you're trying to get your rocks off, back away. Your colon will thank you.

Who knows... maybe one day in six or twelve months time she'll call you up to let you know the BDSM stuff was just a phase, and now she doesn't play like a bad PS3 port with dominance issues on how you spend your time. Until then, there are plenty of fish in the sea... who don't require you to come up with a safe-word.


I feel like a more appropriate analogy for me would be a super-hot chick that really wants to please but wants to "wait till the moment feels right". She gives you enough to get you going, but you really want to get to take it to that next level, she comes back with a response like "Oh don't worry, in late November I will be more confident about myself and I'll have gotten some work done that I'm sure you will like! *wink wink nudge nudge*. Oh FFXIV, you are such a tease!
#15 Oct 19 2010 at 8:27 PM Rating: Excellent
Quote:
I feel like a more appropriate analogy for me would be a super-hot chick that really wants to please but wants to "wait till the moment feels right". She gives you enough to get you going, but you really want to get to take it to that next level, she comes back with a response like "Oh don't worry, in late November I will be more confident about myself and I'll have gotten some work done that I'm sure you will like! *wink wink nudge nudge*. Oh FFXIV, you are such a tease!


You, sir, are brilliant.

I always lulz at the bad analogies I find on gaming forums, but you actually did it right!
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#16 Oct 19 2010 at 11:11 PM Rating: Decent
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thehellfire wrote:
Exactly why glorified bloggers who live in parent's basements don't make journalists.


You know, could you please do everyone a huge favor and seriously get off the computer, get some sunshine and fresh air, spend time with your wife and just.shut.up? Please?? Seriously, I have seen about 50 posts from you and everything out of your likely sausage fingers has been hating on everyone doesn't see the brilliance and beauty of this digital ***** called FFXIV.

It's old dude. Get a life, please. For me, if not for yourself.

Edited, Oct 20th 2010 1:12am by hexaemeron
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#17 Oct 19 2010 at 11:44 PM Rating: Good
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hexaemeron wrote:
thehellfire wrote:
Exactly why glorified bloggers who live in parent's basements don't make journalists.


You know, could you please do everyone a huge favor and seriously get off the computer, get some sunshine and fresh air, spend time with your wife and just.shut.up? Please?? Seriously, I have seen about 50 posts from you and everything out of your likely sausage fingers has been hating on everyone doesn't see the brilliance and beauty of this digital ***** called FFXIV.

It's old dude. Get a life, please. For me, if not for yourself.

Edited, Oct 20th 2010 1:12am by hexaemeron

Dude, you're just like him (perhaps a tad less extreme), just on the other end of the spectrum. Everywhere I saw you post you were taking pot shots at SE, FFXIV or the players who were praising the game.
#18 Oct 20 2010 at 8:17 PM Rating: Decent
29 posts
Wolfeinstein wrote:
hexaemeron wrote:
thehellfire wrote:
Exactly why glorified bloggers who live in parent's basements don't make journalists.


You know, could you please do everyone a huge favor and seriously get off the computer, get some sunshine and fresh air, spend time with your wife and just.shut.up? Please?? Seriously, I have seen about 50 posts from you and everything out of your likely sausage fingers has been hating on everyone doesn't see the brilliance and beauty of this digital ***** called FFXIV.

It's old dude. Get a life, please. For me, if not for yourself.

Edited, Oct 20th 2010 1:12am by hexaemeron

Dude, you're just like him (perhaps a tad less extreme), just on the other end of the spectrum. Everywhere I saw you post you were taking pot shots at SE, FFXIV or the players who were praising the game.


Dude, you're just like him (perhaps a tad less extreme), just on the other end of the spectrum. Everywhere I saw you post you were taking pot shots at hexaemeron, thehellfire or the players who were flaming each other.
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