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If this doesn;t make you laugh - I don't know what willFollow

#1 Nov 23 2010 at 9:10 PM Rating: Decent
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I know this is completely not related to FFXIV and for that I am sorry but it is very funny

This patent is for a device that is intented to make child birth less stressful and traumatic

http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2007/01/baby_patent_his.html

I particulary love this bit:

"When the infant is successfully ejected from the mother, a "pocket-shaped reception net" catches the infant. Don’t worry, the baby is cushioned by a "thick wad of cotton" in the net.

Furthermore, when the baby lands on the "cotton bed" inside the net, its weight exerts force on a switching plate which then turns off the centrifuge. The patent notes that the switching plate can also be configured to ring a bell at the same time."

Phbbbbbt! *ding!*

I have to try going to sleep at 3:00am with that going around my head....its too **** silly

Edited, Nov 25th 2010 2:00pm by MisterGaribaldi
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#2 Nov 23 2010 at 11:03 PM Rating: Default
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Where's the catapult?
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#3 Nov 24 2010 at 12:11 AM Rating: Default
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from a woman stand point.
THANK GOD that wasn't invented.
I think someone was on a joint for too long at a fair when riding it.
they took that gravity ride and added stuff to it.
It would also harm the baby also.
but omg good read it was funny.
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#4 Nov 24 2010 at 6:19 AM Rating: Excellent
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Fascinating.

It appears I have no soul.
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#5 Nov 24 2010 at 8:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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Wow... Just wow...
#6 Nov 25 2010 at 10:06 AM Rating: Good
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Wow someone really wanted to apply fundamental physics to medicine. An interesting application but scary at the same time.
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#7 Nov 25 2010 at 11:48 AM Rating: Decent
Edited by bsphil
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Something tells me the motion probably isn't healthy for the baby.

Irishclass777 wrote:
MUTED
lol how'd this happen?

By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.



Edited, Nov 25th 2010 11:52am by bsphil
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#8 Nov 25 2010 at 11:59 AM Rating: Good
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I must have no soul then. Reading that made me wince.

This is what happens when you let the gnomes loose...
#9 Nov 25 2010 at 12:18 PM Rating: Good
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bsphil wrote:


Irishclass777 wrote:
MUTED
lol how'd this happen?



Long story short? Pikko had enough. http://ffxiv.zam.com/forum.html?forum=152&mid=1290418923264505191&page=7


Edited, Nov 25th 2010 1:20pm by Zorvan
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#10 Nov 25 2010 at 12:44 PM Rating: Decent
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Sorry for the thread title it wasn;t meant to cause offence. I have gone back and editted it. I have also learnt that posting on firums at 3:00am just before bed is possibly not the best idea for generating a sensible thread. Anways, sorry if anyone was offended it was "trying" but failing to be witty.

I just find this concept so baffling funny.

How anyone could:

a.) Think this is a good idea
b.) Waste time developing the idea
c.) Waste money filing for a patent
d.) Have the patent approved

I can just picture a line of pregnant women queuing up to go on this "Ride of a lifetime" - bad pun I know

The whole pffft "ding" just tops it for me.

For the love of sanity, I just hope he didn;t prototype it.

This research came about after discovering someone who incorporated a rifle into a helmet which was fired by blowing into a tube. However, during testing they overlooked Newton's third law of motion and forgot to take recoil into account and someones neck was broken.

Edited, Nov 25th 2010 2:01pm by MisterGaribaldi
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#11 Nov 25 2010 at 7:33 PM Rating: Decent
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Since the thread is already a bit away from FFXIV

bsphil wrote:
By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.
You know that sort of statement should better come with a prove otherwise is just an opinion, in which case should be preceded with "I think", "I believe" or something like that.

Ken
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#12 Nov 25 2010 at 7:54 PM Rating: Good
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kenage wrote:
Since the thread is already a bit away from FFXIV

bsphil wrote:
By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.
You know that sort of statement should better come with a prove otherwise is just an opinion, in which case should be preceded with "I think", "I believe" or something like that.

Ken



Given that it's impossible to prove or disprove I don't think it really matters. He's no more obliged to provide supporting evidence then he would be if he said my invisible pink unicorn fluffy doesn't exist.
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#13 Nov 25 2010 at 8:37 PM Rating: Decent
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mistrik wrote:
kenage wrote:
Since the thread is already a bit away from FFXIV

bsphil wrote:
By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.
You know that sort of statement should better come with a prove otherwise is just an opinion, in which case should be preceded with "I think", "I believe" or something like that.

Ken

Given that it's impossible to prove or disprove I don't think it really matters. He's no more obliged to provide supporting evidence then he would be if he said my invisible pink unicorn fluffy doesn't exist.
It does matter since, either side of the argument is still a believe, and a good portion of us (unlike your invisible pink unicorn) are sitting in the other side of the argument.

The bottom like is that it doesn't take anything from anyone to extend a small courtesy and present your opinions as opinions and not as facts.

Ken
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"Maybe it means: you're the evil man, and I'm the righteous man, and Mr. Nine-millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous *** in the Valley of Darkness." - Jules.
FFXIV: Mabel Rand (Gugnir)
FFXI: Kenage, retired.
K&K forever!,
#14 Nov 25 2010 at 11:34 PM Rating: Good
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kenage wrote:
mistrik wrote:
kenage wrote:
Since the thread is already a bit away from FFXIV

bsphil wrote:
By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.
You know that sort of statement should better come with a prove otherwise is just an opinion, in which case should be preceded with "I think", "I believe" or something like that.

Ken

Given that it's impossible to prove or disprove I don't think it really matters. He's no more obliged to provide supporting evidence then he would be if he said my invisible pink unicorn fluffy doesn't exist.
It does matter since, either side of the argument is still a believe, and a good portion of us (unlike your invisible pink unicorn) are sitting in the other side of the argument.

The bottom like is that it doesn't take anything from anyone to extend a small courtesy and present your opinions as opinions and not as facts.

Ken



Since neither side can be proven nor dis-proven, both sides can only be opinion. Therefore stating them as such is merely redundant, pretty much what I was getting at. You have one opinion, he has another, and for all either of you know I have a third unrelated opinion on the matter. Since no facts can be brought forward to support any of them, there's no real point in getting offended at the wording of his statement. If he had said "by the way the earth is flat [...]" you would have a reason to bring it up.

I personaly think that people who take issue with such mundane non-directed statements are only showing that they themselves are not secure in their own convictions and feel compelled to justify them. *shrug* but hey that's just my opinion.


*pets fluffy*
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Quote:
Pikko wrote:
Quote:
sideways wrote: (really Pikko?)

Oh go stuff that thread up your ***. Did you even READ that post?
[...]
I mean, excuuuuse me for trying to make people PLAY NICE.


^ Second best forum mod smack down *ever*.
#15 Nov 26 2010 at 12:12 AM Rating: Good
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mistrik wrote:
kenage wrote:
Since the thread is already a bit away from FFXIV

bsphil wrote:
By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.
You know that sort of statement should better come with a prove otherwise is just an opinion, in which case should be preceded with "I think", "I believe" or something like that.

Ken



Given that it's impossible to prove or disprove I don't think it really matters. He's no more obliged to provide supporting evidence then he would be if he said my invisible pink unicorn fluffy doesn't exist.



Senator Stampingston: Dethklok has summoned a troll.
General Krosier: That's impossible, there's no such things as trolls.
Senator Stampingston: Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?






...






Sorry.
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#16 Nov 26 2010 at 1:04 AM Rating: Decent
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mistrik wrote:
kenage wrote:
mistrik wrote:
kenage wrote:
Since the thread is already a bit away from FFXIV

bsphil wrote:
By the way, souls don't exist, I'm perfectly fine not having one.
You know that sort of statement should better come with a prove otherwise is just an opinion, in which case should be preceded with "I think", "I believe" or something like that.

Ken

Given that it's impossible to prove or disprove I don't think it really matters. He's no more obliged to provide supporting evidence then he would be if he said my invisible pink unicorn fluffy doesn't exist.
It does matter since, either side of the argument is still a believe, and a good portion of us (unlike your invisible pink unicorn) are sitting in the other side of the argument.

The bottom like is that it doesn't take anything from anyone to extend a small courtesy and present your opinions as opinions and not as facts.

Ken



Since neither side can be proven nor dis-proven, both sides can only be opinion. Therefore stating them as such is merely redundant, pretty much what I was getting at. You have one opinion, he has another, and for all either of you know I have a third unrelated opinion on the matter. Since no facts can be brought forward to support any of them, there's no real point in getting offended at the wording of his statement. If he had said "by the way the earth is flat [...]" you would have a reason to bring it up.

I personaly think that people who take issue with such mundane non-directed statements are only showing that they themselves are not secure in their own convictions and feel compelled to justify them. *shrug* but hey that's just my opinion.


*pets fluffy*
Are you saying that stating your options as facts instead of opinions is merely redundant?, do you really understand what redundant means?

On the contrary stating something you believe as a fact is not only not redundant but it may be offensive, specially you are attempting to steal a position that doesn't correspond with it.

And regardless any personal believes, I believe courtesy is never redundant, which is all I wanted to state with these OOT posts.

Peace.

Ken
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"Maybe it means: you're the evil man, and I'm the righteous man, and Mr. Nine-millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous *** in the Valley of Darkness." - Jules.
FFXIV: Mabel Rand (Gugnir)
FFXI: Kenage, retired.
K&K forever!,
#17 Nov 26 2010 at 3:14 AM Rating: Good
There is a much funnier part in that patent. There is an anti-puke part on it preventing said expecting mother to not puke on the docters when she is rotating.
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#18 Nov 26 2010 at 3:19 AM Rating: Good
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Turning a humor thread into a debate? Wow you guys suck **** and are probably muslim (muslims lack a sense of humor).

On topic, how about a baby birth demonstration, doggy style!
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#19 Nov 26 2010 at 7:12 AM Rating: Decent
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KekkaishiDarkness13 wrote:
There is a much funnier part in that patent. There is an anti-puke part on it preventing said expecting mother to not puke on the docters when she is rotating.



Rate up for you dude - you totally get the point of this thread
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#20 Nov 26 2010 at 8:26 AM Rating: Good
I love one of the comments on that page:

Quote:
Does it work for constipation as well?
#21 Nov 26 2010 at 12:20 PM Rating: Decent
I love the fact all comments are from 2007. Who ever made the patent must have been on some trippy grass. Went to a carnival and saw those old "space men ride" they had. And thought... that be great for child birth.
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