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The Sarcasm Thread - (Fun)Follow

#1 Feb 26 2011 at 2:40 AM Rating: Good
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1,146 posts
There are more than enough threads regarding things players don't like about the game or things they would like to see changed.
It's a sad fact though, that there are not as many news about the games development and SE's future plans as most of us would like.
So I thought maybe we could kill some time, let off some steam and have a good laugh by phrasing complaints and wishes in a sarcastic form.

Rules: The only rule is that everything you post here has to be sarcastic.


- Who needs chocobos and airships? Traveling is much more fun if you run from place to place.

- Only getting low rank local guildleves after reset is no problem because grinding DoHs is much more fun.

- Battle regimens are great because they work so flawless and look so impressive.

- We don't need more content. We have levequests.

- The addition of a fanfare for rankups will save the game.
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Final Fantasy XI
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#2 Feb 26 2011 at 2:44 AM Rating: Decent
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This thread is totally awesome and will not degenerate into another flamefest.






(Did I do it right?)








#3 Feb 26 2011 at 3:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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1,146 posts
No, you didn't.

I made this thread because I hate the game and don't want it to improve.

I'm not bored.

Edited, Feb 26th 2011 10:09am by RidingBean
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Final Fantasy XI
Server: Quetzalcoatl
Name: Kyana (retired)
Jobs: THF75 PLD70 BST70

#4 Feb 26 2011 at 3:10 AM Rating: Good
42 posts
I like hitting things, thats why I LOVE crafting <3
#5 Feb 26 2011 at 3:36 AM Rating: Good
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Having a mithra harem makes perfect sense. who wouldn't want to do a girl covered in fur?

playing parley to beat bosses is by far the best idea SE has ever had. Wanna f*** with me giant evil beastman? Well putchyo sword away... ima skool yew in parley.

I love how theres a giant hallway between each zone in gridania. Nothing is more fun that running through repetitive terrain for 10 minutes

Coblyn grinding was the best idea ever. ***** exploring and variety, standing in the same little room for 200 hours 1-shotting mobs is epic. Pure fun!

This game is for elite players. It takes a lot of skill to hit 1... and then... hit 1.... and then... hit 1.... and then .... hit 1 .... and then .... hit 1....





#6 Feb 26 2011 at 4:14 AM Rating: Excellent
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568 posts
I love how automatically gained leve mats let me just get to the good part which is pressing the action button. it doesn't make me feel like a vegetable at all ^__^

I like how they avoided naming the NPCs "lazy guy next to the pier" and I are becoming the best of friends!

Who needs interesting landmarks anyway they would just distract you from appreciating the identical hills.

I think talking to floating rocks makes perfect sense as does the fact that the requests of the citizens through the leve system are never ever fulfilled. Oh lovelytimes.

#7 Feb 26 2011 at 4:35 AM Rating: Good
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Okay, let me try again then.

I absolutely love pressing enter 9001 times a day just to craft a few dozen items. Yep, best thing since cyanide pills.




(Did I do it right this time?)
#8 Feb 26 2011 at 5:34 AM Rating: Decent
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If the game is just a little more similar to wow it will most certainly be successful.

I'm glad SE doesn't mastermind situations that require me to intelligently use different skill combinations. Thinking is hard and dying in games isn't fun.

I like to win especially if my opponent is essentially a crate filled with items that me and my friends need to smack for 30 minutes in order to get it open.


-I love this thread, I'd also love to see FFXIV be successful. But reading all these really makes it seem impossible so i had to contribute. :/
#9 Feb 26 2011 at 5:57 AM Rating: Good
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I love it how they avoided generic quests
by avoiding quests! ^.^/
#10 Feb 26 2011 at 5:58 AM Rating: Decent
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FFXIV is absolutely perfect. What better way to kill time than to come home from work and work some more!

Crafting really is the most fun I've had! Who needs fantasy when you can just take a hammer and tink tink away on a single low level craft that, despite being 20 ranks below you, has a good chance of botching! Most fun!

And don't even get me started on content! Why, nothing says "bodaciously entertaining" like killing the world's wild life and making it a better place for all!

Epic dragons? haha! More like Star Marmots! The smaller and less epic the better! How wonderful n.n

Chocobos? Airships? Carriages? No thanks! I'd rather get to Limsa Lominsa the harder way! What's that? It's across the continent from Gridania? Hours you say?

Well that's okay! It's not like this game was made for casual players who don't really have the time to go from Gridania to Limsa on foot and still find the time to take that hammer and work for his entertainment!
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#11 Feb 26 2011 at 7:01 AM Rating: Decent
I love how the threads that are meant to be fun still manage to troll.

*drip*
*drip*
*drip*
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Data Center: Primal; Server: Ultros; Free Company: The Kraken Club; Grand Company: The Maelstrom; Chocobo: Kweh
#12 Feb 26 2011 at 7:27 AM Rating: Default
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186 posts
WHO CARES ABOUT THE GRAPHICS OF FFXIV? I mean for God's sakes, the User Interface is so brilliantly done.
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#13 Feb 26 2011 at 10:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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I like you guys.
#14 Feb 26 2011 at 11:36 AM Rating: Good
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230 posts
This game doesn't suck at all. Best mmo i have ever played. It will probably be worthy of subscriptions in a month. We will probably have all the content we have been waiting for soon. Oh and this game definitely will not die! :)
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#15 Feb 26 2011 at 12:04 PM Rating: Decent
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176 posts
Item degradation is always a great idea.

Retainers are so much better than moogles.

Being able to change cities would be stupid. I mean, it's not like you can do that in real life.

Edited, Feb 26th 2011 11:04am by superdupernuker
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#16 Feb 26 2011 at 1:50 PM Rating: Good
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this sarcasm thread is nice
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#17 Feb 26 2011 at 2:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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I love how so many camps in La Noscea and the Black Shroud are always deserted, what could be better than having a whole camp practically to yourself? I can totally take all those black efts, and who needs anyone else to do behest and leves with anyway! :P

(not sure if I did that right, lol. But all in good fun).)

Edited, Feb 26th 2011 3:31pm by Dollfie
#18 Feb 26 2011 at 3:55 PM Rating: Good
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I am in love with the silky smooth skin of every humanoid in this game! I will have to get that recipe sometime.

I adore conveniently using my index finger over and over again for days on end to smelt virtual ingots in a noticeably repetitive manner. Unlike real life, I can avoid the dangerous hazards of real blacksmithing, and maybe be lucky enough to develop a musculoskeletal disorder!
ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ
#19 Feb 26 2011 at 4:23 PM Rating: Good
I love using the keyboard to move around, I definitely don't plan on buying a controller, since I can't use my mouse.
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#20 Feb 26 2011 at 5:01 PM Rating: Default
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186 posts
Any player from the Besaid server has never heard of Eliza Joran. She is very quiet and is never involved on anything other than grinding alone and crafting alone.

Eliza Joran is a total loser.
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#21 Feb 26 2011 at 5:07 PM Rating: Default
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I hated playing XI, but make this game just like XI so I can repeat the same experience I already did for 7 years.

Please add auto attack, so I can focus more on watching tv, win solely based on gear equipped, and have my third party progams win game for me.

Remove leve crystals.. I enjoy waiting on someone to teleport me places to have fun and absolutely don't want alternate forms of travel added.

Remove guildleves I know it is more streamlined for its purpose of accessing fetch quest quicker. But I prefer wandering around 1000 npcs that stand around doing nothing with big icons over there head. What? It's not as accessible? Well, just put auto walk or bread crumbs on ground to lead me like a dog or cat by the leash to my destination.

This game is too grindy. I like hamster wheels. I don't want to think just give me a reciprocating wheel I can run on day in day out. The reward in a game is not about socializing and enjoying the game while enjoying player driven content along with some focused events.

Crafting should be one click and done. Everyone should be able to master a craft regardless of playing skill or time input. If crafting gets stripped down to one click. I would rather not have XIV do crafting like TOR and remove no tedium.

Remove stat allocation, ability to use skills from other jobs, and crafting custom options. It's better to pigeonhole classes into one role so we can seek for the perfect setup. So what if it makes the game non linear and makes party forming easier and faster. Make all gears the same color and have same stats regardless of the players crafting aptitude.

I know all of your final fantasy titles have been about advancing in graphics, storytelling, and being slightly similar but also rethinking systems. What? Every players has their own favorite fantasy over the course of twenty years? Forget all that, my favorite is Final Fantasy 7 and so is everyone else. From now on make all your titles play exactly the same using old systems in the exact same way. Disregard any computer advancements or any new fresh game ideas you have. Satisfy our nostalgic minds and you will start selling 10 million titles per outing again. Who cares what art or computer school you attended and learned things from. Arm chair designers know what is best.




Edited, Feb 26th 2011 7:45pm by sandpark
#22 Feb 26 2011 at 7:08 PM Rating: Default
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557 posts
Little Ladies Day is the kind of content that draws in a top-notch, not at all pervy and home-bound playerbase.
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#23 Feb 26 2011 at 7:52 PM Rating: Excellent
I love the fact that I have to spend at least 2-3 hours every 2 days for 1-2 weeks for 700 Faction Points so I can do one Faction NM.

(turn off sarcasm mode)
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#24 Feb 28 2011 at 8:24 AM Rating: Good
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130 posts
-FFXIV is really returning to the roots of FF series, We just have to look at the AM spells to remember how good the spells were in FFI. Gotta love nostalgia.
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#25 Feb 28 2011 at 8:53 AM Rating: Good
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I love how effective the logon message is regarding playing the game too much and forgetting about your friends & family.

I haven't played in a month thanks to this!
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