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Dear Ostia. Lets talk...Follow

#52 May 26 2013 at 12:01 AM Rating: Good
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**** you Kao ....... I still can't find that 3 headed monkey! Now i have to spend the rest of my days wondering if the 3 headed monkey actually exists. the philosophical part of my brain is already strained. Things like ... why do people get angry at differing opinions and not curious?, or why can't i get a beer at 3:30 A.M.? .. or Why isn't Catwho a guru around here? So much stuff ... and you add to it. ><
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#53 May 26 2013 at 12:04 AM Rating: Good
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[******************** you Kao ... I still can't find that 3 headed monkey![/quote] Behind you. Always behind you.
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#54 May 26 2013 at 12:05 AM Rating: Good
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Hyrist wrote:
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
OK, I believe Ostia and I have reached a back channel accord of sorts. He understands where we are coming from now, and I've offered to personally oversee any concerns he has that he is being treated differently than others just to have a second pair of Admin eyes on it if he wants per the forum rules.


A note for you, Ostia, as this statement above has me inferring that you feel as if you're unnecessarily outcast.

A lot of us have been in this awkward "outside looking in" position. But it behooves us to take a moment in our time to attempt to relate to one another, rather than resent others because of this. This is where your habit of being contrary has harmed you in terms of reputation here. It is hard to relate to someone so eager to tell us our opinion is wrong compared to theirs, even to the point of arguing what is offensive.

Many of us have agreed with you in choice circumstances or, even in moments of disagreement, offered for you to clarify your stance in a non-aggressive manner. Please be sure to capitalize on these in the future. We realize you're a human being just like any of us. (Well, maybe not I. I'm most likely Khajiit. :3 )

You will likely have to face a lot of doubt as to your ability to change your conduct in the future. Precedence is against you in terms of making a turn around, meaning Zam's history more than simply a lack a faith in you personally. I for one hope that you become an exception to this, and am willing to do my part to help.

My PM inbox is open to you should you feel the need to vent about something rather than express it here in the forums and risk your membership. Note, I may try to provide feedback in response, however. But know that it is with the best intentions in trying to help you work out here in Zam. Having you become a more welcome member of the community is more preferable to losing you due to things not resolving here. So I'm willing to do my part.

Here's to a better future.


Edited, May 26th 2013 1:17am by Hyrist


Smiley: lol Well maybe you are a khajiit Smiley: lol Thanks hyrist, comming from you, who i have had countless arguments with, it does feel nice :)
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#55 May 26 2013 at 12:06 AM Rating: Decent
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[*********************************** you Kao ... I still can't find that 3 headed monkey![/quote] Behind you. Always behind you.
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[/quote]

Smiley: lol Is that actually real ?
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#56 May 26 2013 at 12:15 AM Rating: Good
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[*********************************** you Kao ... I still can't find that 3 headed monkey![/quote] Behind you. Always behind you.
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[/quote]

This is why i never look back.
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#57 May 26 2013 at 2:11 AM Rating: Good
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Long time casual lurker here.

I've been laughing hard at all the butthurt that "forum bullies" like Ostia and Poubelle have caused. No disrespect to zam and it's hard workers but..... It's a forum about a videogame.... calm down. There is no reason a mod should have to pump out a thread like this..... Then again I guess I can't talk **** unless I've been BURNED by Ostia and felt the pain THE PAIN of pessimistic views on games directed at ME.
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#58 May 26 2013 at 2:16 AM Rating: Good
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While there is probably a person or two who has been butthurt, not standing for rudeness and disrespectful in any context is nothing to "laugh hard" about. You might not care if I insult you and your ideas, but it really has no place in a constructive conversation. If you don't care whether a conversation is constructive or not, then it's probably a good thing for everyone that you stick to lurking.
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Hyrist wrote:
Ok, now we're going to get slash fiction of Wint x Kachi somehere... rule 34 and all...

Never confuse your inference as the listener for an implication of the speaker.

Good games are subjective like good food is subjective. You're not going to seriously tell me that there's not a psychological basis for why pizza is great and lutefisk is revolting. The thing about subjectivity is that, as subjects go, humans actually have a great deal in common.
#59 May 26 2013 at 2:38 AM Rating: Default
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you may have just uh.... constructively hurt my ****?

Usually threads with "rudeness and disrespect" are the good ones..... fed by important game issues that should be argued about immensely. And if a few personal insults are delivered in the process, which is common in heated debates of anykind not just vidya game forums, then that is acceptable collateral damage in making a game we all want to be better.

What retards forums is phony gimmicks like rate up/downs (which is nothing but epeen) and crying to mods when your views are not agreed with.... which is what it's really about, nobody cares if they are called names on the internet.... i mean really? it's 2013.

"Oh ****! nobody likes my posts! I might get rated down! better contact a mod to get my rate downers Banned forever!"
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#60 May 26 2013 at 4:06 AM Rating: Good
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First off: there are no important video game issues. None that are more important than basic respect for other human beings.

Secondly: this is entirely about being respectful. Just because being insulted doesn't hurt your feelings doesn't mean you should put up with it. If a kid talks **** to me, I don't care, but I'm **** well going to tell their parents what a little ******* they're being.

If someone's insights are so valuable, then it really shouldn't be a big deal for them to show a little respect to others. In my forum, that stuff will get you an instant mute, and a swift ban if that doesn't take care of it. It has nothing to do with protecting the tenderfooted. It has to do with having a positive community. This is not the shark tank of big ideas, so there's really no justification for that kind of behavior. If you want drama, there are better forums (re: most of them) who specialize in that.

I'm not sure if I can expect someone who throws around words like "******" and "crying" (as if expecting civility of others makes one overly sensitive somehow) to agree. Personally I find that sort of attitude always comes from people whose contribution is much less meaningful than they think it is, and is generally rendered a negative worth by the time they start gracing others with their perfectly harmless (but still utterly stupid and immature) vitriol.

To me, talking **** is weak. You clearly understand that on some level. So when you need to punish a child who is determined to act out, you do something that has power. You don't argue with them. You give them a smack on the ***, and promise another if they don't straighten up. And if you're not the parent, then you tell the parent that their kid needs a smack on the ***. That's all that's happened here. Ostia just flew a little too close to the sun and got his spanking in public.

tl;dr:

I've met my share of people who assume that complaining about someone's behavior or punishing someone indicates that they're butthurt. They are usually too immature themselves to even understand what it feels like to deal with a behavioral problem without getting upset or angry. They only know how to either ignore a nuisance or get emotional, so they choose the former. As a result, they develop no skill at resolving interpersonal conflicts constructively, and are completely worthless at dealing with behavioral issues. I see these ****** "no big deal" parents and would-be professionals all the time. Conversely, there are actually mature people out there who have learned how to get in the thick of it and still keep their cool. They just do it, because someone should not be a lazy piece of **** and get something done.
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Hyrist wrote:
Ok, now we're going to get slash fiction of Wint x Kachi somehere... rule 34 and all...

Never confuse your inference as the listener for an implication of the speaker.

Good games are subjective like good food is subjective. You're not going to seriously tell me that there's not a psychological basis for why pizza is great and lutefisk is revolting. The thing about subjectivity is that, as subjects go, humans actually have a great deal in common.
#61 May 26 2013 at 5:22 AM Rating: Decent
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Can't tell if this thread is serious or not.
#62 May 26 2013 at 7:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd say since things are resolved we can close this, Kao if you disagree feel free to unlock.
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