How did I make it personal exactly? By calling you arrogant? You are being arrogant. Arrogance is an attitude of superiority or self-importance. You claiming that others can't comprehend or understand your point is arrogance, especially when it's been laid out for you clear as day. Everything I've posted after that was in response to you making some demeaning or belittling comment about myself or the rest of the community. I really don't care if you want to discuss it with me or not anymore, because it's abundantly clear you will just ignore anything you don't like by claiming I don't get it, when I think it's pretty clear I do. That's not even an argument or debate. It's acting like a child when you don't get your way. (oh sorry, that's probably a personal attack in your eyes)
Anyways, I'm done here. Talking to brick walls gets old.
Right, well I guess I'll leave it to you to tell me what I think of myself and others. You don't know what my attitudes are. You're not a mind reader (yes?). To me, the idea of feeling superior or self-important over knowledge of video game mechanics is completely laughable. It's so far removed from my feelings of self-worth that you might as well accuse me of being arrogant because I have pretty okay toenails, and frankly I'm sorry--if not dubious--that you think anyone would actually think that way. I'm more apt to believe that what's happened here is that you sensed confidence that to you, seemed unworthy, so you had to do your civic duty to try and take me down a peg.
I am not arrogant, and just because you inferred otherwise doesn't make it so. I don't think I'm better than or more important than you. I do think in certain realms I have a better way of doing things. Now, you obviously feel the same way or you wouldn't take it upon yourself to tell me why you're right in all of this and I'm wrong. But I find it funny that when you're condescending, you're just "calling it like you see it," but when I point out things of that nature
You feel that I've slighted you--fine. I can apologize for that, but I do feel that I should have the opportunity to explain where I'm coming from.
Re: the argumentative jackass. I honestly wasn't calling you a jackass by some transitive property of insult. You were the one who kicked that off with telling me, "You lose," which is about the most juvenile argument tactic I can imagine. Now, if I call that tactic juvenile, to me, I'm not directly calling YOU juvenile, but the practice of doing so juvenile. If you don't do it, I won't think you're juvenile (nor will you seem like an argumentative jackass, at least by virtue of that). But I guess wherein your rules of engagement are concerned, I don't see how I'm the one who brought the arrogance into the conversation when you had just as much confidence that I was wrong as I had that I was right from the get-go (and you definitely did not understand my point right away).
Re: evolution. At this point in the conversation, you most definitely did not demonstrate an understanding of what I was saying. You might have understood SOME of the major premises, but not the supporting rationale behind them. When you say, "No, I understand," you don't understand how badly you really don't understand. You don't understand the mathematical systems of game balance--you haven't once tried to engage me through that perspective, which is fine--I don't expect most people would want to talk about it or want a lecture on it, and I wouldn't want to give it in a format like this, so I wanted to keep things simple. But when you say that you understand, that's literally equivalent to saying, "No, I get it. You think that people came from the same ancestors as monkeys. Here's why I disagree," without making any effort to be enlightened on the biological or anthropological concepts that inform the other side of the argument.
All that is fine! I wasn't saying that you were stupid for not understanding! But when I deal with people whom I consider mature, and I inform that that they don't understand something, they don't automatically assume (he thinks I'm stupid because there's something in the world I understand! I understand everything!). They try to understand by asking directed questions to broaden their understanding
of an unfamiliar perspective. They understand that whether I'm right or wrong, they can learn something from the discussion. They understand that I'm giving them feedback on the conversation that allows them to ask questions that they want answered, so I don't just jump into a lecture that might not even address the gap in understanding. But when the only effort you make to understand the other side is taunt them like a FOX political pundit, "Oh yeah? What about X. You can't explain that!" then the opportunity for an objective and productive discussion is lost.
That opportunity is always on the table as long as I'm around. However much you feel that I've contributed to the escalation of a conflict, I can step back and bring it down to earth on my end so that I've at least done my part for getting back on track. I have tried to do that here, for all the good it did. In particular, if you do feel slighted, then remaining respectful yourself, rather than making me think that you're weak, will just make me feel like that much more of a jackass for offending such a respectable person.
Nonetheless, I apologize if I've insulted you. It was unintentional.
I really hope you believe that, because otherwise you leave me with no means of recourse.
For me, it is important that I am understood. I know that people misunderstand my intentions as well as my arguments. I'm used to it! And I don't blame other people for that. The concept of blame/fault doesn't really even exist in my worldview. Because of differences in worldview, I don't always understand how others will perceive the things I will say. And for me, being able to be understood for who I am--to not be misjudged--is important. It doesn't matter to me if you personally misjudge me, but when I can't communicate myself to you, it means that I haven't socially navigated the situation the way I intended to. I have the benefit of knowing that I'm not the arrogant, mean, jerk that you think I am. There's a disconnect that I'm trying to bridge, all while staying on topic and not launching into lengthy expositions about what I really think as some sort of public "Dear Diary" entry.
So again, I sincerely apologize to anyone that I have personally offended. I do tell people when I perceive fault in their method or views at times--I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I try to do so constructively, and not turn opportunities for civil discourse that could realize personal growth into childish arguments. But for as high as I strive, I am only human, and don't see myself as being above anyone else.
So tl;dr for everyone, here's what I'm going to do: Ask that you accept my apology, and in the future, if you perceive that I am being arrogant, I hope you will understand that this is just me failing to display confidence gracefully. If I seem to be suggesting that you don't understand something, please understand that it's because I'm trying to identify what I perceive as the communication failure in the discussion--not an insult towards you. And if I insult you, just tell me, "That insults me," and I will apologize with all due sincerity. I do not enjoy upsetting other people, and if you ever start to think otherwise, I would appreciate the benefit of the doubt. Edited, Jun 3rd 2013 1:47pm by Kachi