Forum Settings
       
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

(My) Kids playing FFXIV, or is 9 too young?Follow

#1 Aug 22 2013 at 5:57 PM Rating: Good
I was approached by my roommate today about how her daughter mentioned me playing FFXI the past few days as well as XIV during the beta. She is a 9 year old slightly-more-than-casual-gamer-as-long-as-she-is-playing-with-someone type of girl. My instant reaction was that XI would be a bit much for her. XI was designed and built for the older Everquest-era of MMO and while she may enjoy randomly slaying things, actual toon development and game progression she may not like as much. My roommate mentioned that her daughter, who for all intents and purposes might as well be my daughter, liked me playing XIV on the TV and liked how it looked very LotR movie-esque when I was fighting. In considering this, I thought that XIV would lend a little better to her as it's questing and overall accessibility was a bit more in line with someone her age.

This is all coming from someone who can't really tell you when the last time I was 9. What do you younger folk and new parents think? How is 9 years old for XIV? XI? Do kids that young play these games? Any suggestions if the consensus is to introduce her to it? Should I not for fear of it being too complicated?

To me it's a really simple game. Then again I've been playing FFXI for ages. Anything seems easy.
____________________________
Blog: http://robertcrist.me/

Current: FFXIV | EVE Online (again)
Former: FFXI | The Matrix Online (FOREVER!!!) | STO | SW:TOR | EQ2 | WoW | Florensia | RF Online

FFXI :: Valefor :: Dareknight, Darexius
FFXIV :: Valefor :: Dare Knight
EVE Online :: Dare Knight, Hazel Knight, Rex Knight
#2 Aug 22 2013 at 6:06 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
**
972 posts
It's too young. Not for the game itself but for an open and uncensored online community like that, not to mention kids don't mix well with something highly addictive like an MMORPG.
#3 Aug 22 2013 at 6:06 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
*
170 posts
This is what I believe when it comes to gaming and parenting. Its the parents job to moderate what their child plays. Honestly I do not see to much wrong, it is fantasy violence after all. This game to me is not that hard but I am a avid gamer and played many MMOs over my life time too. I say as long she supervised, I couldn't see what wrong with. The catch 22 is there is sometimes a community that can be harsh and quite rude (thats putting it lightly) if she were to play with other people on the net.

The most important thins is Parent Supervision.
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#4 Aug 22 2013 at 6:07 PM Rating: Excellent
Needs More Smut
******
21,262 posts
In a supervised situation I think it's fine. If Mom/Dad are in the linkshell and other LS members are aware of the age of the player and know to keep it family friendly, it's okay. XI has a built in censor for swearing, and mom/dad can blacklist anyone on that account that is a known bad apple. It seems ARR has the same tools.

Now, unsupervised..... no. For one thing it's technically against the law for an unsupervised kid under 13 to do anything online. That includes ARR. For another thing, there are some really .... uh.... colorful people in any online game that are probably best avoided.

Now, the text in ARR actually has a lot more profanity in it than XI did. The NA localizers made the language pretty salty. If you're trying to keep a nine year old from cursing like a sailor, ARR might be a bit much. If you trust the kid to not repeat every bad word she hears, then it should be fine.

____________________________
FFXI: Catwho on Bismarck: Retired December 2014
Thayos wrote:
I can't understand anyone who skips the cutscenes of a Final Fantasy game. That's like going to Texas and not getting barbecue.

FFXIV: Katarh Mest and Taprara Rara on Lamia Server - Member of The Swarm
Curator of the XIV Wallpapers Tumblr and the XIV Fashion Tumblr
#5 Aug 22 2013 at 6:11 PM Rating: Good
*
220 posts
In terms of difficulty should be fine, lots of kids at that age can play a game well, just give them guidance.

In terms of MMO addiction though, as long as you put limits on how much they play that's fine I think, my little brother started video games younger and is still able to pace himself. But even though I started games later than him, I never had any one to teach me to pace myself and for many years it consumed too much of my time.

So I think pacing is all you need, kids will play games anyways, but have them plan it out like, a level a day or a few quests a day, don't encourage their competitiveness too much, "like I wanna be the highest level or the best gear", it's good to have goals but just say "well those guys are adults and when you're 18 you can do whatever you want too, but you're 9 now" - and hopefully by the time she's 18 she'll have more sense than play games all day >_>
#6 Aug 22 2013 at 6:11 PM Rating: Excellent
19 posts
I think she could pick it up and play it easier than you'd imagine. Complexity won't be the problem. Just remember that the chat channels are basically an open conduit for tons of things you may not want a 9 year old to be seeing that early. The first time she sees someone get called a rimjob online and comes inquiring of its meaning, you may regret the decision to let her play.

That sounds like a sarcastic answer, but I mean it sincerely. The content nor complexity of the game itself will not be a problem in my opinion. The problem will be the exposure to all the random crap that flies around mmo general/shout/region chat channels. Just my $0.02.
____________________________
FFXIV Character: Lyderis Vyru (Ultros)
FFXI Character: Tren (Caitsith)
#7 Aug 22 2013 at 6:15 PM Rating: Excellent
****
6,898 posts
The game is rated T for Teen. I think 9 might be a little young for FFXIV honestly. I mean, if she wants to watch you play and what not, and maybe occasionally play for a couple minutes I'd say that's fine, but really I think it's just a bit too early an age to be getting involved in an mmo. You just can't control what other people are going to say or do.
____________________________
Bartel Hayward--- Ultros Server
The Kraken Club <ZAM>
50 WAR • 50 MNK • 50 MIN • 50 GSM • 50 ARM • 50 LTW • 50 CUL • 50 WVR
thekrakenclub.shivtr.com
#8 Aug 22 2013 at 6:19 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
170 posts
BartelX wrote:
The game is rated T for Teen. I think 9 might be a little young for FFXIV honestly. I mean, if she wants to watch you play and what not, and maybe occasionally play for a couple minutes I'd say that's fine, but really I think it's just a bit too early an age to be getting involved in an mmo. You just can't control what other people are going to say or do.


Could you not close or get rid of the chat box? if that were possible it does eliminate that problem though.

But the MMO world can be a cruel and dark place in the chat box. That would be my biggest concern with child that young playing an MMO.

If you want though you could seek out alternative MMOs based toward younger children. I am not sure if there any but it does not hurt to look as well.
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#9 Aug 22 2013 at 6:21 PM Rating: Excellent
Scholar
***
1,150 posts
My kid is 6 and he plays but mostly it's just completing the hunting logs and stuff out in the field. He's surprisingly good at the game for his age. Since he's just learning to read, I keep the chat on battle....not that he would ever know the difference. I can definitely understand the concerns though....can never be too safe these days.
____________________________
FFXIV
Deadpool Xrage (Ultros)
Eriston Xrage (Ultros)

FFXI
Eriston
Siren - 75Bst/75Whm/75Rng (Retired June 2010)


Gone surfin'
#10 Aug 22 2013 at 6:36 PM Rating: Default
Avatar
*
102 posts
Ifd you guys have little big planet 2 i suggest looking up RaveniaDarkfae (me) I made a stage warning gaming parents about letting ur kid online alone.

Basically its a bad idea, first you got cyber bullies now. People who go out of their way to bully and people do the "ho hum its part of life" This lead to alot of youth sucidices.

ypou then have pedophiles and the ill. There have been quit a few cases from WoW about young kids getting stalked irl from people they met in WoW. I recall one near me where he goes to the kids house points a gun at the mom and demands nude pics of her son.

And simply put we are not here to play babysitter. On little big planet (a game parents let their kids play online alone) I heard 10 year olds (on voice chat) talk about how they "banged their girlfriend".

Then there was that christain dad 7 year old **** incident.

What i find funny is how people talk about lil kids, 9 year olds are not babies.... i've been gaming since 6 and i'm 28 now.
#11 Aug 22 2013 at 6:42 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
**
488 posts
Tell your kid to never reveal their age online. You should go on your kids game first and disable chat if you feel like it might not be suited for them.

Edited, Aug 22nd 2013 8:44pm by Mopdaddy
#12 Aug 22 2013 at 6:51 PM Rating: Excellent
Scholar
Avatar
*
129 posts
9 year olds should be running around and playing with other kids...you know, being socially active outside instead of playing video games in front of a computer or tv.
I don't have kids of my own, and it is your kid so you can raise him/her however you want. Just stating my humble opinion.
#13 Aug 22 2013 at 6:55 PM Rating: Good
7 posts
You also have to be warned, due to the T rating, if age is mentioned and someone says something to the GMs they would be well within their rights to ban the account she is playing on.

Edited, Aug 22nd 2013 8:55pm by JubiT
#14 Aug 22 2013 at 6:56 PM Rating: Default
Avatar
*
102 posts
just fyi not all kids xcan do that,I played games due to having ADD inb the early 90s and was medicated with ritlan. I halso have a few other things. Gaming is better them tv and actually can help corrdination skills

pretty much growing up for me was i was numb to the world you couldn't pay me to talk. I wasn't shy i just didn't care. Not to sound cockey... i got along with teachers bettere then my classmates due to my maturity level was a bit higher.
#15 Aug 22 2013 at 6:58 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
102 posts
Mopdaddy wrote:
Tell your kid to never reveal their age online. You should go on your kids game first and disable chat if you feel like it might not be suited for them.

Edited, Aug 22nd 2013 8:44pm by Mopdaddy

kinda have to now a days more so with guys hitting on girls or talking trash. (see WoW Moonguard Goldshire) as to why i say that.
#16 Aug 22 2013 at 7:02 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
*
170 posts
Darkfae77 wrote:
Mopdaddy wrote:
Tell your kid to never reveal their age online. You should go on your kids game first and disable chat if you feel like it might not be suited for them.

Edited, Aug 22nd 2013 8:44pm by Mopdaddy

kinda have to now a days more so with guys hitting on girls or talking trash. (see WoW Moonguard Goldshire) as to why i say that.


Heck I don't even hit on girls at all today. So worried that one will lie and then bam next minute she 16 and I am in jail. Nope. Imma play it safe.

Edited, Aug 22nd 2013 9:02pm by thelastofclass
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#17 Aug 22 2013 at 7:03 PM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
743 posts
Just copy and paste Catwho's response for me. My wife and I play with our son (almost 7). He only plays when we play and that only a few hours a week. We have plenty of RL activities. We look at FFXIV as our "Family game night". I worry more about the stuff he sees and hears on YouTube. Those kids on the Minecraft videos swear too much.
____________________________
I think you've been smoking the Moko...
http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/350413/
http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/1628942/
http://www.nerdist.com/
Angus of Cerberus (retired)
#18 Aug 22 2013 at 7:04 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
**
377 posts
I personally disgree with letting children under the age of 14 play MMOs due to the presence of people who intentionally try to hurt others because of the anonymity of the internet and the lack of repercussions. That said, I also think it really does need to evaluated on a case to case basis because some children are more mature than others but regardless of that, there needs to be parental involvment at all times with the child is online.
____________________________
What? Did you expect something witty?

The Kraken Club - FC on Ultros
Arylin Moonsong - Ultros
Mimiroo Underhill - Ultros
#19 Aug 22 2013 at 7:10 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
170 posts
princessary wrote:
I personally disgree with letting children under the age of 14 play MMOs due to the presence of people who intentionally try to hurt others because of the anonymity of the internet and the lack of repercussions. That said, I also think it really does need to evaluated on a case to case basis because some children are more mature than others but regardless of that, there needs to be parental involvment at all times with the child is online.


Its sad that we live in a world that people would intentionally hurt each other emotionally and think its funny.THose are the people that really make me hate MMOs and ruin the game for me.
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#20 Aug 22 2013 at 7:24 PM Rating: Default
Avatar
**
972 posts
Even worse on Ultros (4chan server). Tons of talk about Lalafell **** and animal **** in /shout. Plus the "epic trolling".
#21 Aug 22 2013 at 7:27 PM Rating: Excellent
Sage
Avatar
**
325 posts
I have a 12 year old daughter that has been playing cod with me since she was 8-9 years old. She only is allowed to play with my clan mates and they know to be on their best behavior when she is around.

I think if supervised it is a great idea. As long as school stays in order and she doesn't get sucked into it to much, don't see the problem....
____________________________
FFXIV
Name: Z'veagan Brolz
Server: Ultros
Linkshell/FC: Lootwhorindramafest
#22 Aug 22 2013 at 7:35 PM Rating: Excellent
Sage
Avatar
*
239 posts
Minimize the chat window and set her off to farm for crafting mats... farm I say FARM!
____________________________
Survivor of the Twinkling Treant - 2003
FFXI - Cerberus - 99 PUP, 75 BST-RDM-BLU
FFXIV - Besaid -> Balmung - 9/23/10

#23 Aug 22 2013 at 7:41 PM Rating: Good
Sage
*
179 posts
Ohhh ok.

I know right now some people are going to have issues with what I'm going to type, but please read through this whole post. I'll try to keep it as simple as possible but hold through to the end.

Is 9 to young? Yes and no.

I've been fortunate in my 30 years on this planet to have traveled been exposed to some cultures, and having lived in other countries for extended periods of time, I want to share so world views I have.

First from a gamer side. I do not think it is a good idea to put a nine year old with older people playing an MMO (if supervised this doesn't apply) un-supervised. There are as some have stated very colourful people on the internet that will not tolerate a 9 year old. They won't have the patience or the decency to conduct themselves in a manner suitable for a child. I'm guilty of this and I challenge anyone else to say they wouldn't be guilty as well. On the internet people tend to disassociate themselves with society as such we become someone very different we aren't always conscience of who or what sits on the receiving end of our typing. But I do know tensions could be flared if someone who may be young doesn't understand the finer points of party game play in a group. This is where I would see you having to place a limit on the child'ss interaction with others. Otherwise the rest of the game has been put to a level that I'm sure a 9 year old could grasp just fine.

As a person I think it is important that you first understand what the child really knows. I have found in my travels that children in Scandinavian countries grow up and mature mentally faster than North Americans. This is because of one thing, censorship. Censorship is a **** of a lot more lax there. As such radio and television don't beep out swear words (at least on channels I watched), it isn't uncommon to find nudity (full!) in adverts, in a bus shelter, downtown, at the main station. North Americans live incredibly sheltered lives in comparison to our European roots, and I must say from a personal stand point I found living there much more liberating and less stressful than in North America. I also found that if a person could raise a child in this atmosphere certain other issues could be avoided in a child's development if the parents were proactive enough in the up bringing. That being said I did run into some like bastards that could have used a good smacking. When it comes down to it, it is all based off how much you are going to put into the child's development.

My point here is that if you are going to let the child play be sure your relationship with that child is good enough that you and the child can talk about their experiences without the child feeling ashamed of something they have read. The child will learn what peoples real colours are like. You also have to be sure the child is of a certain level of maturity as well, other wise this will back fire tremendously. Again it is one of those cases where yes you should be supervising them. But exposing a child to these things aren't always a bad thing as long as you are teaching them sound moral rights. I can tell you will almost 100% certainty that this child has likely seen heard and read worse, unless of course this child is home schooled and lives in a plastic bubble where their only access to the outside world is their own yard where they have only seen another child that has been approved by their parents. If the second is the case I'm sorry to say but the child will likely be scared for life if you drop them into this community regardless of supervision, you are better of finding hello kitty adventure island for them.

By the time I was about 7 or 8 I knew just about every swear word imaginable and some in different langauges. I learned these at school on the field from older children. Parents need to remember back to when they were kids and things that they really learned when mom and dad weren't looking or around. I knew as a kid growing up these words weren't nice, but I didn't know why or the meanings behind the words (this landed me in trouble more than once). My word of advice is to talk to the child, learn what they have learned and explain that they wouldn't be in trouble for using them in your conversation. Ask them where they learned the words and how they were being used. Ask the child if they know what the words means and why society considers it bad. Teach them what the words mean and why they are bad, don't wait for the child to be in trouble for saying something they don't even understand because then it will be a lot more difficult. I think the parents that raised children in the 90s and 00's but even some from the 80's (I was born in the early 80's) as well dropped the ball. Video games and television became the new supervisor without parents really understanding what their child was getting out of it. If this child has used the internet unsupervised I'm more than willing to bet they have seen and read things that may or may not shock you. Children aren't as innocent as they seem, where parents need to step up is approaching these children and helping them understand what they are experiencing. Do not shelter the child it is important they understand what the world really is and that the parents aren't always going to be around and that they need to understand that people can be mean. What you need to do is how to deal with those emotions and how they should deal with what they confronted with.

I'm going to end it here before I get lost in big picture. But my hat off to you though for approaching this issue very sensibly. I can only hope you do a better job raising the child than some of those that now populate this world that we share.
____________________________
Server: Ultros
IGN: Cilia Maroth
Linkshell: Karma Zameleons
#24 Aug 22 2013 at 7:48 PM Rating: Good
****
6,898 posts
Killua125 wrote:
Even worse on Ultros (4chan server). Tons of talk about Lalafell **** and animal **** in /shout. Plus the "epic trolling".


Seriously,stop it. I played phase 3 and phase 4 on Ultros. It was a very friendly, helpful community and not once did I see talk of what you mentioned above. I've ignored most of your posts, but you need to stop making sh*t up and giving people a false impression of our community. It's rude and extremely disrespectful to those of us on Ultros.
____________________________
Bartel Hayward--- Ultros Server
The Kraken Club <ZAM>
50 WAR • 50 MNK • 50 MIN • 50 GSM • 50 ARM • 50 LTW • 50 CUL • 50 WVR
thekrakenclub.shivtr.com
#25 Aug 22 2013 at 7:49 PM Rating: Default
Avatar
**
972 posts
What? I didn't even know you were on Ultros (a.k.a. the 4chan /b/ server).
#26 Aug 22 2013 at 7:53 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
170 posts
darexius2010 wrote:
I was approached by my roommate today about how her daughter mentioned me playing FFXI the past few days as well as XIV during the beta. She is a 9 year old slightly-more-than-casual-gamer-as-long-as-she-is-playing-with-someone type of girl. My instant reaction was that XI would be a bit much for her. XI was designed and built for the older Everquest-era of MMO and while she may enjoy randomly slaying things, actual toon development and game progression she may not like as much. My roommate mentioned that her daughter, who for all intents and purposes might as well be my daughter, liked me playing XIV on the TV and liked how it looked very LotR movie-esque when I was fighting. In considering this, I thought that XIV would lend a little better to her as it's questing and overall accessibility was a bit more in line with someone her age.

This is all coming from someone who can't really tell you when the last time I was 9. What do you younger folk and new parents think? How is 9 years old for XIV? XI? Do kids that young play these games? Any suggestions if the consensus is to introduce her to it? Should I not for fear of it being too complicated?

To me it's a really simple game. Then again I've been playing FFXI for ages. Anything seems easy.

Heres an Idea how about you try to find a way were you can have kids around your daughters age play with. Maybe some of the fellow peers in this community will join and give there child lets an hr or 2 whatever and let them game to together set rules. All that. Allow them to be social and make friends as well.
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#27 Aug 22 2013 at 8:14 PM Rating: Excellent
I thank you all for your replies and I'm very grateful to find very heartfelt words being shared.

I've thought this over after reading every word in all of these replies and I'd like to share what I've found. Normally I glaze over threads (sorry...) and pull out the key points but this is a topic that is very near and dear to me. As a child her age I was playing video games near constantly. Games back then weren't what they are now. The gamer side of me is all for it. The parental side of me is on the fence.

My relationship with her has always been very open and positive. Any time someone at school has talked about 'something dirty' she's always come to me first and foremost and asked me about what they said, why they said it, what it means, and is it a good or bad thing? In return, I made her the promise that if she is old enough to ask the questions she is old enough to receive adult answers. Now of course I don't go divulging every detail about everything, and she knows that (we talked about it). She's happy she can come to someone and ask ANYTHING, and she appreciates that, unlike a lot of other adults in her life, she isn't given 'little kid answers'.

Discipline has never been an issue. She does what I ask, perhaps not timely in all cases such as cleaning rooms, but she does it and I'm confident after talking to her that she understands my reasons or at least understands that she may not really know why I'm asking something, but that it's important and she needs to do it. So when I tell her that she can only play XIV with me when I'm on I trust that she will do just that. I'm also of the type that if I'm in a linkshell or FC, I myself don't have a tolerance for extreme foul language or topics even when it's just me, let alone my kid. So I feel like that situation will be handled well.

Where the blurred line comes in is reigning us in. I'll play all night long. I'll play for 18 hours if I'm off. I know it. I don't because I recognize my tenancy to do that, but I've still done it from time to time. How can I trust myself to reign her in? I feel like if her and I play together and she really takes to it, I can see us setting out to do big things all the time and not going to bed and making adventuring an excuse. She'll go right along with it.

Then there's the problem of exposing her addiction. If she becomes addicted and grows beyond me game-wise, that'll obviously be bad, too.

So at the end of the day I've asked myself this after carefully reading all of your replies:

Do I trust her? Yes.
Do I trust myself to set rules towards playing with only me? Yes.
Do I trust myself to set strict time guidelines? No.
Do I trust myself to not become addicted and fueling an addiction for her? No.

So then comes the question, "How do I come to trust myself with setting and adhering to time guidelines and addiction prevention?"

I don't honestly know. If I set time restrictions on her, I will have to follow it myself and I don't really want to do that. If I try to throttle her, I'll again have to do the same for me.

Do I want to share my love for FFXI/XIV that much? Yes. How can I have the best of both worlds? I don't know.
____________________________
Blog: http://robertcrist.me/

Current: FFXIV | EVE Online (again)
Former: FFXI | The Matrix Online (FOREVER!!!) | STO | SW:TOR | EQ2 | WoW | Florensia | RF Online

FFXI :: Valefor :: Dareknight, Darexius
FFXIV :: Valefor :: Dare Knight
EVE Online :: Dare Knight, Hazel Knight, Rex Knight
#28 Aug 22 2013 at 8:21 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
170 posts
darexius2010 wrote:
I thank you all for your replies and I'm very grateful to find very heartfelt words being shared.

I've thought this over after reading every word in all of these replies and I'd like to share what I've found. Normally I glaze over threads (sorry...) and pull out the key points but this is a topic that is very near and dear to me. As a child her age I was playing video games near constantly. Games back then weren't what they are now. The gamer side of me is all for it. The parental side of me is on the fence.

My relationship with her has always been very open and positive. Any time someone at school has talked about 'something dirty' she's always come to me first and foremost and asked me about what they said, why they said it, what it means, and is it a good or bad thing? In return, I made her the promise that if she is old enough to ask the questions she is old enough to receive adult answers. Now of course I don't go divulging every detail about everything, and she knows that (we talked about it). She's happy she can come to someone and ask ANYTHING, and she appreciates that, unlike a lot of other adults in her life, she isn't given 'little kid answers'.

Discipline has never been an issue. She does what I ask, perhaps not timely in all cases such as cleaning rooms, but she does it and I'm confident after talking to her that she understands my reasons or at least understands that she may not really know why I'm asking something, but that it's important and she needs to do it. So when I tell her that she can only play XIV with me when I'm on I trust that she will do just that. I'm also of the type that if I'm in a linkshell or FC, I myself don't have a tolerance for extreme foul language or topics even when it's just me, let alone my kid. So I feel like that situation will be handled well.

Where the blurred line comes in is reigning us in. I'll play all night long. I'll play for 18 hours if I'm off. I know it. I don't because I recognize my tenancy to do that, but I've still done it from time to time. How can I trust myself to reign her in? I feel like if her and I play together and she really takes to it, I can see us setting out to do big things all the time and not going to bed and making adventuring an excuse. She'll go right along with it.

Then there's the problem of exposing her addiction. If she becomes addicted and grows beyond me game-wise, that'll obviously be bad, too.

So at the end of the day I've asked myself this after carefully reading all of your replies:

Do I trust her? Yes.
Do I trust myself to set rules towards playing with only me? Yes.
Do I trust myself to set strict time guidelines? No.
Do I trust myself to not become addicted and fueling an addiction for her? No.

So then comes the question, "How do I come to trust myself with setting and adhering to time guidelines and addiction prevention?"

I don't honestly know. If I set time restrictions on her, I will have to follow it myself and I don't really want to do that. If I try to throttle her, I'll again have to do the same for me.

Do I want to share my love for FFXI/XIV that much? Yes. How can I have the best of both worlds? I don't know.


Have tried some self restraint. I know I ahve gamed for 18hrs before too. Its hard but maybe having her around will make you get off. I hope you find a way to enjoy the things you do with your daughter. Few parents these days enjoy sharing there own hobbies with their children.
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#29 Aug 22 2013 at 8:31 PM Rating: Excellent
***
3,178 posts
I don't know if you are playing on PS3? Are you playing with your kids? I have a couple of suggestions that might help you. My 7 year old daughter was leveling up by herself with a kid-friendly controller setup.

Character Configuration > R1 over to the tab that says "Cross":
- Set the Cross Hotbar Controls to "Toggle"
- Set the Crossbar display type to "D-pad + D-pad/ Buttons +Buttons"

I told my daughter that pressing R2 would put her in Battle Mode. With the D-pad + D-pad, and the cross-bar toggle "ON" the D-pad shows up on the same side of the screen as it does on your controller.

On the D-pad I set Left Target and Right Target to these, which can be found under, Actions and Traits > General:

Screenshot


These can be added to your Cross-bar. You can also make a User Macro for Nearest Enemy:

To do this, go to System Menu >User Macros. Then select any of the empty slots, select an Icon for your macro and type in /targetenemy

Screenshot


Now just go to your cross-bar and set that User Macro to one of the slots.

Screenshot


Now you have Nearest Enemy, Next Enemy and Last Enemy, as easy to use buttons on your D-pad Cross Bar. Over on the Button side, I just put another copy of the Nearest Enemy Macro for "X" and then the first three class Abilities actually auto-fill the other buttons as they are learned while leveling up.

So R2 is Battle Mode and press it again for Town Mode. That's how I put it and she was off and running.

Finally, if you wan to play with your kid and help, I suggest a Mouse and Keyboard as well as the Controller. You can actually use the Mouse to point the way on screen - which is far betting than trying to describe it out loud. You can give some timely assists if you want as well. ;)

#30 Aug 22 2013 at 8:40 PM Rating: Decent
Avatar
**
972 posts
darexius2010 wrote:
Do I trust myself to set strict time guidelines? No.
Do I trust myself to not become addicted and fueling an addiction for her? No.


Nuff said, don't let her near it.
#31 Aug 22 2013 at 8:47 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
170 posts
Gnu wrote:
I don't know if you are playing on PS3? Are you playing with your kids? I have a couple of suggestions that might help you. My 7 year old daughter was leveling up by herself with a kid-friendly controller setup.

Character Configuration > R1 over to the tab that says "Cross":
- Set the Cross Hotbar Controls to "Toggle"
- Set the Crossbar display type to "D-pad + D-pad/ Buttons +Buttons"

I told my daughter that pressing R2 would put her in Battle Mode. With the D-pad + D-pad, and the cross-bar toggle "ON" the D-pad shows up on the same side of the screen as it does on your controller.

On the D-pad I set Left Target and Right Target to these, which can be found under, Actions and Traits > General:

[img=241697]

These can be added to your Cross-bar. You can also make a User Macro for Nearest Enemy:

To do this, go to System Menu >User Macros. Then select any of the empty slots, select an Icon for your macro and type in /targetenemy

[img=239914]

Now just go to your cross-bar and set that User Macro to one of the slots.

[img=239915]

Now you have Nearest Enemy, Next Enemy and Last Enemy, as easy to use buttons on your D-pad Cross Bar. Over on the Button side, I just put another copy of the Nearest Enemy Macro for "X" and then the first three class Abilities actually auto-fill the other buttons as they are learned while leveling up.

So R2 is Battle Mode and press it again for Town Mode. That's how I put it and she was off and running.

Finally, if you wan to play with your kid and help, I suggest a Mouse and Keyboard as well as the Controller. You can actually use the Mouse to point the way on screen - which is far betting than trying to describe it out loud. You can give some timely assists if you want as well. ;)


I must say I may use this for myself as well. Some that can be useful for me. Thanks
____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#32 Aug 22 2013 at 8:48 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
83 posts
Personally with the semi-vague allusions to ***/genitals and cursing in the story itself I'd be worried about that, on top of the community itself. Some of it could fly over her head, sure, but it depends on what you feel she could be exposed to.
#33 Aug 22 2013 at 8:58 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
***
1,080 posts
In my non-parental opinion, at age 9 she should be playing Final Fantasy console games like we all did at that age. The on-line world, which yes, can be great, is also a cesspool. I wouldn't allow her online til she's older.

signed /budding helicopter dad
____________________________
A reader lives a thousand lives, the man who never reads lives only one. - George R.R. Martin
#34 Aug 22 2013 at 9:24 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
121 posts
Notwithstanding that a 9 year old could play this game successfully, and notwithstanding proper parental controls to ensure that MMO addiction doesn't take hold (good luck with that, I'm hooked)

This game is too **** for a 9 year old IMO. At least my female character is.
____________________________
[img]http://xivreborn.com/gen/Erik_Highwind_Coeurl_Classes.jpg[/img]
#35 Aug 22 2013 at 9:35 PM Rating: Default
Scholar
Avatar
39 posts
Your kid doesn't belong on this game. They're too young, and most young kids are annoying. They should be worrying about school and playing outside with kids. Keep your kid off games until they're old enough to understand not-having-a-life.
#36 Aug 22 2013 at 9:58 PM Rating: Good
***
1,439 posts
I would like to start by saying what an interesting and articulate thread thank you all!

The debate about letting your kids play Video games, what you should restrict etc has been raging in my head since my kids were born. I have two young children and both enjoy playing video games on iPad, iPhones, Galaxy tabs, PC, Wii and PS3. They have grown up watching me play XI and XIV. When my youngest was a little baby I used to rock him to sleep with my foot while I was sitting playing the game (remember the hours of no sleep when they are teething in the middle of the night anyone?). Most if not all of us on these forums are gamers, why else would we be reading these forums right? So we are coming from a skewed perspective, mostly pro-gaming, but equally many of us are parents too admittedly in the minority but I don't have the figures to back this up.

I am currently having the issue of how long I should allow my children to play video games of every sort. My oldest is into gymnastics, sports, music and is very active and they moderate themselves pretty well but my youngest will spend time playing on their games even when on play dates etc while at home and I am starting to get worried about the social aspects. Now I'm not going to go into personal stuff too much on a forum but there are other factors involved here regarding the social aspect of my child.

As I have been playing MMO's since they were both born they have always taken an interest in my character and the game. It started with my oldest wanting me to get my character to /wave to them which was cute but now it's 'Can I play that character' and I have let them run around on a chocobo or fight a beetle (always supervised). Neither are of the age to read fluently so I am not worried about the chat log...yet.

In my humble opinion I do believe that kids are a product of their environment and if that environment exposes them to things that are new it doesn't necessarily mean something will go wrong with their nurturing. I agree with the posters above that say supervision is important and don't believe chat (voice or chatlogs) are a good thing because of the maturity level required to handle them but I don't have a problem with a moderated approach to letting your child play.

If I was in your shoes, based on what you have told us, I would let my 9 year old friends daughter play FFXIV but only supervised and I would put time limits on what they play, negotiating another activity for the time they get to spend on the game e.g. you can play for one hour and then we'll go bowling/swimming/<insert activity>. This, I believe, gives them some responsibility which is important for their development and teaches them that there are so many wonderful things that you can do that don't all involve sedantry activities such as watching TV or PC/console gaming.
____________________________
Esuna Forums

#37 Aug 22 2013 at 10:01 PM Rating: Good
Scholar
***
3,599 posts
Some of the text from NPCs is a bit too mature.

For instance... one NPC told me about how he heated his Rivets. If he didn't use the ash of fire elementals, they would get as cold as a dead (insert naughty word for 'woman of the night')'s crotch.

This and more, only in FFXIV!
____________________________


#38 Aug 22 2013 at 10:02 PM Rating: Excellent
Needs More Smut
******
21,262 posts
I do actually think that the FF sprite games might be a better place for a nine year old. They're at just the magic age for them, too. Many are available on PSN or Nintendo DS.

Tell your kids they can get to 14 once they've knocked out 1-13, in chronological order, as well as the sequels AND tactics. By the time they get around to FFXI they'll be either bored with it or 13 years old, at which point they can play either online game unsupervised.

Edited, Aug 23rd 2013 12:02am by Catwho
____________________________
FFXI: Catwho on Bismarck: Retired December 2014
Thayos wrote:
I can't understand anyone who skips the cutscenes of a Final Fantasy game. That's like going to Texas and not getting barbecue.

FFXIV: Katarh Mest and Taprara Rara on Lamia Server - Member of The Swarm
Curator of the XIV Wallpapers Tumblr and the XIV Fashion Tumblr
#39 Aug 22 2013 at 10:04 PM Rating: Decent
Avatar
*
117 posts
Quote:
disable chat if you feel like it might not be suited for them


Filtering shout is a must for children that young.
#40 Aug 22 2013 at 10:05 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
*
170 posts
EdyNOTB wrote:
I

If I was in your shoes, based on what you have told us, I would let my 9 year old friends daughter play FFXIV but only supervised and I would put time limits on what they play, negotiating another activity for the time they get to spend on the game e.g. you can play for one hour and then we'll go bowling/swimming/<insert activity>. This, I believe, gives them some responsibility which is important for their development and teaches them that there are so many wonderful things that you can do that don't all involve sedantry activities such as watching TV or PC/console gaming.


This right here! I may not be parent. But mother who raised me and my brothers (along with my father, both are together) who also has a degree in Early Childhood Education mention something of this sorts. Allow your child to make the choice in away. "You can play this game but then you must, give set of activities." It makes them feel more in control but still your in control.

____________________________
Character: Sasanji Chechenji (BLM)
Server: Ultros
Master of the Black Market Mercs Free Company (BMM)
#41 Aug 22 2013 at 10:10 PM Rating: Decent
EdyNOTB wrote:
Most if not all of us on these forums are gamers, why else would we be reading these forums right? So we are coming from a skewed perspective, mostly pro-gaming, but equally many of us are parents too admittedly in the minority but I don't have the figures to back this up.

Now I'm not going to go into personal stuff too much on a forum but there are other factors involved here regarding the social aspect of my child.


This right here accurately describes my own dilemma. While I'm not nor would I ever ask anyone to divulge private information on a public forum, I'll share with you all that I have aspergers syndrome. tl;dr, I have a propensity towards being solitary. Age has taught me that people tend to be self-serving, but this is a debate for another time. That all being said, I prefer to spend my time indoors. On a game. Where I can ignore people I don't want to talk to yet still have a semblance of socialism. Yada yada.

She isn't like that. She loves physical exercise. She swims, participates in gymnastics, etc.

I suppose what I'm getting at is, yes, I agree, my view will be very skewed regardless of the outcome. Lest one side says, "No, she is just plain too young to really dive into the game mechanically, narratively, and socially", and, "If I supervise her she'll be alright".

I feel it best, with the input given here, that I don't go purchasing an additional copy so we can play at the same time. I will head all of this information for the time when she IS old enough and has a better grasp at things discussed online with anonymity, but until then she can just make a toon on my account and play for an hour a day or so. If she really takes to it and in order to play myself I need to get her her own account, then I know that she'll be restricted on time and only be allowed to buddy with me.

I'm not worried about her education -- She's in a gifted studies program and doing really well. She's athletic enough that I don't believe she'll sit down and play for hours upon hours. During the time that this thread has been open I put that idea to the test by sitting her in front of the Playstation with a game I know she likes such as LittleBigPlanet and she played for half an hour and went to draw something.

I'll have to work on the self-confidence in allocating those times and sticking to them for her as well as setting that good example. Who knows?
____________________________
Blog: http://robertcrist.me/

Current: FFXIV | EVE Online (again)
Former: FFXI | The Matrix Online (FOREVER!!!) | STO | SW:TOR | EQ2 | WoW | Florensia | RF Online

FFXI :: Valefor :: Dareknight, Darexius
FFXIV :: Valefor :: Dare Knight
EVE Online :: Dare Knight, Hazel Knight, Rex Knight
#42 Aug 22 2013 at 10:12 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
23 posts
Honestly? 9 is way too young for any MMO. Even if you could get rid of the chat box, you wouldn't even be able to play the game. Communication is just as important as playing the game itself.
#43 Aug 22 2013 at 10:22 PM Rating: Decent
Avatar
*
175 posts
Not to sound like a parrot since everyone else has said it but 9 is way too young for a mmo. But with that said every child is different some kids might be able to handle it you're the parent so you're the best judge of that. At any rate if you do allow it I would highly recomment monitoring while your kid plays it. Not only for its addictive nature but the fact that mmo communities largely go unchecked and uncensored and she'll be exposed to things that you probably wouldnt appreciate.
____________________________
Gothos 75 SMN 75 WHM 68 COR 65SAM ~FFXI (Valefor)
80 Warlock - 80 Priest - 80 Shaman WoW (Moon Guard)
#44 Aug 22 2013 at 10:25 PM Rating: Good
**
438 posts
this is the best 9 year old ever.
____________________________
Star Swirl on Behemoth AKA Best-hemoth AKA The Cool Kid's Table----60AST, 60WHM, 60SCH/SMN, 60BLM, 60MNK, 38 PLD, 34DRG, 31NIN, 27MRD
FFXI- Derpypony on Asura
Check out the Dream Network, a Twitch.tv community for XIV fans, featuring notable streamers like Mr. Happy, MTQcapture, Rahhzay, and Slyakagreyfox! http://dreamnetwork.tv/forum/index.php
Then maybe check out myself, EquestriaGuy, on twitch at http://www.twitch.tv/equestriaguy


#45 Aug 22 2013 at 10:28 PM Rating: Good
***
3,285 posts
My kids are 9 and 8 yrs old and have asked to have a character on XIV. We are tossing around if we want to do it or not ourselves. Our actual primary concern is fighting over who gets to play the character as we will not be making two characters for them. It just doesn't make sense for the amount of time they'd play. But to be clear, our kids have been allowed to play video games since they were 4-5 yrs old. They are active children so I'm not worried about them becoming sedentary.

Now to your concerns about setting limits, that is your responsibility. You may treat her like an adult when talking to her about things, but setting limits are your responsibility. I don't let my kids stay up until 12-1a. They're not allowed out of their rooms (minus bathroom) past 9p. Why would I allow them to play games as long as me? It's just a set of defined expectations. And from what I can tell by you talking about the girl, she takes your expectations and follows them.

For the people concerned with hearing/seeing fowl language, if the kid is already watching the game, then it's no different than if they are playing it. We let our kids watch us play games. They are still exposed to the same things. And since game time would be supervised, it's not like you can't explain that the child can't say X, Y or Z.

My best suggestion would be to do PS3 version for a kid. Don't give them access to the keyboard. Turn the chat to Battle log. And let them play. Grinding is not difficult. And since the hunting log tells you what level to do things at, it makes a pretty simple guide.
#46 Aug 23 2013 at 12:38 AM Rating: Excellent
Just make sure she doesn't forget her family, her friends, her school, or her work.
____________________________
I might be an onion thief, but I'm still a thief.™





#47 Aug 23 2013 at 1:32 AM Rating: Decent
Avatar
20 posts
@Melody: There is a difference between watching and playing a game. If there wasn't, you wouldn't have mentioned possible fighting over who gets to play the character.

Children are impressionable and have the ability to absorb way more information than adults as I am sure you are aware of. Sure, there is a language censor in-game, but there is not a name filter and that kind of thing is much different, because those types of players crave attention and expect others to call them by their perverted names when communicating in parties or raids for example.

Of course every parent has their own methods, and even though my son is learning how to play video games, I do not expose him to foul language or perverted "names" that no person would say to their parent or especially in a work environment and not expect to be fired over.

Not abusing anonymity online is the biggest lesson I plan to teach my son.
#48 Aug 23 2013 at 1:51 AM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
**
837 posts
BartelX wrote:
Killua125 wrote:
Even worse on Ultros (4chan server). Tons of talk about Lalafell **** and animal **** in /shout. Plus the "epic trolling".


Seriously,stop it. I played phase 3 and phase 4 on Ultros. It was a very friendly, helpful community and not once did I see talk of what you mentioned above. I've ignored most of your posts, but you need to stop making sh*t up and giving people a false impression of our community. It's rude and extremely disrespectful to those of us on Ultros.


I agree so far I didn't even think someone was a d**ck in Ultros. The /shout chats that I had were either for help or funny. If I asked something in /shout in ul'dah general area it was sure that at least 1 person would help me out.

I have yet to see those 4chan trolls killua speaks of.
____________________________
YaY signature!! (i was never good with signatures >_<)

Grim Reaperz (Ultros server)
#49 Aug 23 2013 at 3:14 AM Rating: Decent
Avatar
13 posts
I started playing Everquest when I was 9 because my older sister played. I feel like I turned out okay.
#50 Aug 23 2013 at 3:32 AM Rating: Good
Scholar
26 posts
Maybe I'm old fashioned but children who are 9 years old need to be reading books, playing in the outdoors, painting and drawing, making things out of cereal boxes, you know all that traditional stuff. Plonking them in front of a non educational video game or even just the tv is not good parenting.
Also there are already too many 30+ year old children for me to deal with in mmo's as it is :P
#51 Aug 23 2013 at 4:21 AM Rating: Decent
13 posts

it really boils down to, are you comfortable with your child playing online, where sometimes the community can prey on the vulnerable, will she be playing with family or friends, does she easily get offended ( not direct but what is said in general, the internet can be a nasty place sometimes )

the game itself is absolutely fine, Teen rating is there solely for the purpose of online, soo i really boils down to the parent understanding the child i guess, i was playing MMO's from an early age, but i was responsible to a degree where my parents trusted me a lot.

if you're really on edge, you can disable the chat box, which my limit the game unless she's in a linkshell or free company of real life or known friends, which i think will be totally fine.
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 59 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (59)