A Tale of Adventure and Triumph on the Eve of FFXIV
Many of us have been waiting for the launch of Final Fantasy XIV for quite some time. With the servers set to go live in less than 24 hours, here's a little something to read over as you wait patiently (or impatiently) to get started in Eorzea. Enjoy!
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'Twas The Night Before Eorzea
'Twas the night before Eorzea, and all through Hydaelyn
The adventurers were waiting for the time to log in.
Their computers were running with overclocked cores,
In hopes of outdoing their low benchmark scores.
The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While Uematsu-san's theme songs played in their heads.
And me in my boxers with Pop Tarts for fuel,
Had entered Vana'diel to delete all my mules.
When from my PC there arose such a clatter,
I fell out of my chair and my Pop Tarts did splatter!
The room grew so cold I could see my own breath,
Then my monitor gave me the blue screen of death.
And then in a flash, I fell into my screen,
and quickly I realized I was in a cutscene!
On a tall awkward airship through dark skies I rode,
With dragons and gunships doing battle below.
With a middle-aged driver, so lively and funny,
I knew in a moment it must be Sage Sundi!
He opened his cell phone and showed me some games,
Then he dialed the dev team and called out their names!
"Now Nobuo! Now Amano! Now Akihiko Yoshida!
Now Komoto! Now Yasu! Now Hiromichi Tanaka!
Turn on the servers and start your install!
Now grind away, grind away, grind away all!"
We soared over treetops that for ages have stood,
protecting Gridania deep in the wood.
Then we passed by Ul'dah with its riches and gold,
Then by Limsa Lominsa with pirates so bold.
Sundi, in cosplay, was dressed like a moogle;
he opened his cell phone and logged onto Google.
With a whirl of his fingers he called up a map,
then adjusted the gold furry ball on his cap.
Then he pointed the airship so it faced toward the stars,
And he smiled at me as he gave me a card.
As the airship shot upward in the dark starry night,
I looked back as Eorzea faded from sight.
Then Sundi turned toward me and I heard him say,
"I'll see you at Fan Fest next time in L.A.!"
Then the air turned ice cold and the sky turned bright blue,
and the next thing I knew, I was back in my room!
The light through my window meant launch day had come,
but I'd completely slept in -- it was quarter past 1!
I jumped in my car and drove fast to GameStop,
hoping my preorder would still be in stock.
I arrived at the shop, and I felt my heart rise,
For one collector's box set sat before my eyes!
But then my heart sank as the clerk said to me,
You can't have this box set without a receipt.
My receipt, in my wallet, was at home on my floor,
which I'd forgotten to grab as I rushed out the door.
But deep in my pocket, I felt the edge of a card,
I pulled it out slowly and examined it hard.
It was a Square Enix coupon, and in block letters large,
read: "Good for one box set, free of all charge!"
And beneath Sundi's signature, his handwriting read:
"Please don't forget your family and friends!"