Gay marriage in ARRFollow

Personally I'd like to see it implemented. It seems like a fun thing for people to do. Whatever SE decides will undoubtedly ruffle a few feathers, but in my mind, it's an all or nothing situation. Either let everyone get married or get rid of the in-game marriage entirely. Sure, it's a nice thing to have. SE could probably even weave it into the lore so that they don't even have to call it marriage. But if it's gonna become a really controversial issue, I'm not sure it's worth having.

I run a psychology/neuro-sci based company and understand the actual science behind why this does matter. So I'm going to explain it without taking sides.
Disclaimer: I use science, not religion, to found these arguments. So if you believe in religion over science, this may offend you. And I'm sorry.

One of our greatest psychological needs is the need to belong. For those of you who believe in science, this is a result of evolution. Ancient humans and our ancestors who teamed up, survived better. This is nothing controversial or surprising. Imagine you get your nutrition/food intake from a mix of hunting and gathering. Well, if your working with others, one person can hunt while the other gathers (increased efficiency). Or if one person get injured (like breaking/spraining a leg) someone else can take over (long-term security). So, our genetics tell us to fit in and make sure we have friends/family/people that care about us.
So: We are genetically programed to belong.

What does this mean?
It means that not-belonging is one of the greatest tortures around.
Let's start out simple. Many psychologists argue that placing a human in solitary confinement is akin to torture. And they have science to back them up on this. You can find lots of the studies, explanations, etc here: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/07/solitary-confinement-2/ nicely summarized for your enjoyment.

Let's take the next step.
Being rejected can be considerably worse than solitary confinement.
While scientists have shown solitary confinement is horrible for you, rejection is worse.
When you feel like an outcast, like you don't belong, etc, it takes a heavy mental toll.
Again, this is science-based. Studies have proven with brain scans. This article explains some of the science: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/rejection.aspx
One study it discusses is a somewhat famous one now, done by Eisenberger, Williams, et al. They basically had people play a simple online game where a Frisbee was tossed back and forth, and measured their brain activity. When an individual was excluded from the game (ex. 3 ppl playing frisbee but the individual is never thrown the frisbee) the same parts of the brain associated with physical pain activated. Surprisingly, even when the person played with a computer and not other people and was aware, they would also activate the pain centers of the brain.
What does this mean?: Even when playing with a COMPUTER, if we are excluded by the COMPUTER, we still suffer from it.
In other words, we are very very very very hardwired to want to fit in.

Now let's move on to the issue at hand.

Why is gay marriage such a serious issue?
Well, it's due to all the reasons I mentioned above.
When a gay person is told they can't get married, it makes them feel different or outcast. Maybe not consciously, but in almost all cases it does.
The exact same way you would have felt as a child if some kids said they didn't want to play with you, or if you got bullied every day at school.
Now when there are organizations screaming all over the news about how gay people are immoral, and unnatural, it does take a toll, weather people realize it or not.

Online games are meant to be an escape from the real world. You can be whoever you want to be, lie about who you are, etc.
If allowing gay marriage took extra work (like extra programming), it may be legitimate to argue that it's just not a needed feature.
If the lore was against gay marriage then there may be some argument for excluding it.
But neither of these are the case. In eorzea the lore is pretty cool with gays (according to devs) due to the cultural diversity.
And the devs had to take an extra step to -prevent- gay marraige.

Put another way, the devs went -out of their way- to disallow gay marriage
And the devs called the subject controversial.

Now to religious people who don't believe in science, I fully understand the distaste towards gays. Religion can be a powerful thing and generally make people into jerks (ex. crusades, witch burning, terrorism, protesting at funerals of those who died in war). If someone brainwashes you into believing that you have to hurt others to get into heaven, it's not necessarily your fault. Our brains are designed to be gullible and fall for it (again for various social/evolutionary reasons). And one could even argue that the reasons as to why we experience religion (from a scientific perspective) are what make us uniquely intelligent and able to use tools and pass on knowledge.

However, to many who are gay, the issue is simple: not allowing gays to get married is acknowledging something is wrong with them.
And that is hurtful for the reasons i explained.
It's separating them from "normal" people and defining them as "different"
It's a form of psychological torture. And this is not an exaggeration.

Luckily there are many gay support networks and many people who are lbgtq are very strong individuals, able to deal with the discrimination.
But that doesn't make it right.

Many people of many religions play final fantasy
It should be a fairly secular game
And according to science, not only is it natural to be gay (found in many many animals), but gay couples have been proven to be no different than straight couples in raising children, or in being married. Science has proven that there are no negative side effects to gay marriage.

Personally, I see no difference between this issue, and racial rights, religious discrimination, genocide, or women's rights and suffrage.
I've seen people argue that it's completely different because being gay is a choice and the others aren't, but that's a myth. People are born gay. It's been proven many times with twin studies. And being gay is more natural than race (which is human-invented). The way we define race is not and has never been genetically accurate.

Is it fair to force a group to suffer because of a few people's extreme religious views and lack of belief in science?
That's up to you to decide.

But this is why the issue matters, and is important to many people. And for anyone who truly believes in equality, this issue should matter to you.

Note: There is also a huge argument as to how acknowledging gay marriage is wrong, promotes the idea in culture that gays are wrong. But I like to pretend that those playing final fantasy are smart enough to be individuals and not be swayed by the world around them (even though I know statistically it's not true).

Edit: If something is unclear, ask and I'll clarify it. If you don't believe in something, let me know and I'll try to find the studies on it (most are in journals and would require an account, which you probably have if you're in university). If you think something I said is untrue, feel free to call me out on it and explain why the science is wrong. If you have a religious argument, feel free to throw that out as well, because I can probably counter it based on the perspective of your religion (as I've studied most of the major ones). I'm very open minded, and I love talking about the brain :p






Edited, Aug 19th 2013 10:29pm by Azurymber

People are using every excuse in the book to prevent it, and 99% of it are lies. ffxiv is already banned in a few countries due to the multi god aspect, the undead, and the attire of women. These are the same countries who would ban ffxiv for gay marriage.

The rating would never change. Why? The sims....

The sims is a huge life simulator that has been doing same sex wedding since the first one. This never was bumped above a T rating. And you can have a bisexual sim see same sex make out and "woohoo" in bed. Again all under a teen rating.

Same sex parying have been in several rpg INCLUDING dragon age. Remember a few characters are infact bisexual.

Also the japanese are open minded about same sex things, look at yuri and yaoi.... that have an open minded wedding policy also. Pretty much if u keep to urself there isa no issue. Same sex couples caneven get married in japan.

back to the sims as i just recalled this, there never was any contraversy with the sims having same sex couplings.

Yeah, that's why I nuked it. Enjoy it folks, do what you will, I'm not touching this thing with a 10' pole.

Heh. In Japan it's officially a no-no, but unofficially.... Japan single handedly made gay **** attractive to women.

As being part of the community that is being discussed here, this is very very true.

My feelings are I deal with enough of this kind of stuff in real life, I play games to have fun an escape. I don't see the big deal at this point to exclude it since so many other games have allowed it (Fable and Skyrim off the top of my head). I feel if you are going to add a feature make is accessible to everyone or just don't add it. No one should feel like they aren't as privileged as someone else, especially in something like an mmo where its about bringing people together.

Wow so I started reading this thread a couple glasses of whiskey too far in. Seriously though made my day.

actually in japan its under a don't ask don;t tell. since japan isn't considered a religios nation. They have buddism, shinto and christanity. Like i said you can have a gay wedding in japan I looked into it as i was curious. Infact there is an anime that actually touch based on same sex wedding.

If youre fine with girl on girl then youre ok with same sex marriage.

Sadly I think you are right. But given something like Skyrim that had it, I don't remember reading anything about a fall out or a dent in their sales. I don't think (completely my personal opinion) that something like this actually causes people to not buy the game if they are against it. It is such a minor minor part of the FFXIV experience and wouldn't be forced on you in any way. It marrying someone of the same sex in game doesn't interest you, don't do it and keep on fishing instead :)

Edited, Aug 19th 2013 9:22pm by CrazyDemo

Also, while I find it foolish that it is even an issue, games like Mass Effect and Skyrim had homosexual marriage / encounters in a single-player game. In ARR, it would require 2 ppl to actually commit to a non-legally binding relationship that could ruin the moral fabric of 'MURICA! Huge difference

Who says you can't do both?

"Now to religious people who don't believe in science, I fully understand the distaste towards gays. Religion can be a powerful thing and generally make people into jerks (ex. crusades, witch burning, terrorism, protesting at funerals of those who died in war). If someone brainwashes you into believing that you have to hurt others to get into heaven, it's not necessarily your fault. Our brains are designed to be gullible and fall for it (again for various social/evolutionary reasons). And one could even argue that the reasons as to why we experience religion (from a scientific perspective) are what make us uniquely intelligent and able to use tools and pass on knowledge."


I am blown away with this part of your comment, really so all religious our brainwashed sheep? They don't believe in science? The looks of it (if you are American) you don't like our freedom of speech ether, it is their right to protest and speak their mind, weather they protest a funeral, church or a chick-fil-a it is their right period. This part of your comment just screams "your rights end where my feelings begin." Please provide scientific sources that back up your claims, otherwise stop projecting.