What GM's do in thier spare time vol. 1Follow

I just read them all in about 45 minute time frame, lmfao. Wow dude. Keep at it i cant wait!

LOL, ROFL, LMAO

hmm, when this is done >.< you should copy and paste them all into 1 big post so that we can remember the mnemories >.>

Bump! It was almost on the *gasp* second page!

Volume 11
Return of the Tawu Part II
"Venture to Arkd'diel"

*Bob, Joe and the tape recorder board Airship to bastok*
Bob: /isbored
Joe: How are you bored? We're about to go save the world.
Bob: And how exactly are we going to do that?
Joe: ..
Bob: Yes, by using that 'lil *******.
Kmartaru: Yes Boj! All urrrrrr fault!
Bob: You're not mithra.
Kmartarrrrrru: Mithwa-witha!
Bob: And his names Joe.

Joe: Goodbye Cruel World!
*Joe jumps off the airship!*
Kmartaru: BOJJJ!!!! NOOOEEEEEEOOEOEOEOOE!!!!!
Joe: hehe.
Bob: ROFL!
Kmartaru: I"M COMING TO SAVE YOUUUU!!!!!!! -taru
*Kmartaru jumps off the airship*
Joe: Holy ***, he really jumped.
Bob: ohh my ******** god..
Kmartaru: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddddddd!

Bob: ....
Joe: ....
GMdev: DO NOT LET THE ONE DIE.
*Bob casts anti-gravity on Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUuu-
Kmartaru: ???
Bob: Unfortunatly I dont have a levitate spell. Thats the best we can do.
Joe: nod
Joe: MT
*Joe nods to Bob*
GMdev: Well what are you waiting for! Go get him!
GMdev: The longer you wait the farther he will be when you land!
Bob: omfg..
Joe: wtf..omfg..

........

Bob: >.<
*Bob jumps off the airship*
Bob: HADOKEN!!!

Joe: >.<
*Joe jumps off the airship*
Joe: COWABUNGA!!!

GMdev: WTF...
<Airshipdriver>: WTF...

*Bob and Joe land in South Gustaberg*
Bob: Oh, **** where is he..
Joe: Well lets do some simple math here. The airship takes 3 minutes to go from Jeuno to Bastok. The space between Jeuno and Bastok is approximatly 924732847812374 miles. The stupid fool jumped off about 25-30 seconds before we did. Meaning he is-
Kmartaru: WHERE ARE JOO!!!!
<randomplayer8> Use the Map NoOb!
Kmartaru: Map-wap?
Bob: There he is.
Joe: Jump'em!
*Joe jumps Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: AH!
Kmartaru: Rotten highland bandits from scottland! I shall destroy jOO!
*Kmartaru goes into kung-fu mode*
Kmartaru: RAWR!
*Kmartaru rawrs*
Kmartaru: Come forth evil beings! I shall vanquish you from this earth unto the very soils of hades realm! There shall Cerberus himself devour your sorry excuse for a warrior whole. Finally, he shall **** you out in a perfect circle shape.
And voila! You have succesfully synthesised "Warrior Pie +1"!

Bob: ...
Joe: ...
Bob: I think hes hallucinating.
Kmartaru: I will not be defeated by your 'ighland yoddelings! never!
*Joe slaps Kmartaru*
Kmartaru: ?!?! Ouchie-wouchie.
Bob: Lets go, we have yet to get to Arkchipanddaleland.
GMdev: Arkd'diel!
Joe: Sounds like flem to me.
Kmartaru: Go wheretaru?
Bob: Bastok.
Kmartaru: Okie-dokie! Follow new hero!
Bob: ...
Joe: ...
*Bob taru-tosses Kmartaru to the South Gate*
Bob: That solved that. Now lets go.

*Bob and Joe arrive at the South Gate*
Kmartaru: Bannanas for sale! Bannanas for sale! One of these in the bunch have been personally spat out by King Opo-Opo himself!
<randomnewbie0> eeewwww
King Opo-Opo: JOO DUN 'IKE MAH SP'T!!!
<randomnewbie0> Not really, no.
King Opo-Opo: I SHALL SHOW YOU THE WRATH OF THE MONKEY!!
*King Opo-Opo readies MUNKEE STANCE.*

Bob: Enemy Spotted!
Joe: GOGOGO!
Bob: Evacuate current position!
King Opo-Opo: OPO!!!!!!!!
*King Opo-Opo uses MUNKEE STANCE.*
Kmartaru: BANNANAS FOR SA-
*Bob grabs Kmartaru*
Bob: RUN DUDE RUN!!
*King Opo-Opo unleashes "MONKEY STEAL LOTUS"*
(those of you who are chinese know what i mean)
<randomnewbie0> HOLY ***!! MY [censored] !!! ****!!!

Bob: Jesus Christ.
Jesus: ?
Joe: Last time i saw that move I couldn't sleep for weeks.
*Bob shudders*
Kmartaru: What does he do?
Bob: Thats not for a child to know.
<goblinmugger> ja'mon dawgs!
Joe: Mug!
<goblinmugger> sup yo!
Bob: We're just coming here to find Arkflem.
GMdev: Arkd'diel!
<goblinmugger> Oh... 'tat snoops heaven dudes! Dopeland!
GMdev: He means Disneyland.
Bob: yeah..right.
Joe: So you know what to do with these Hourglasses we got?
<goblinmugger> Well what joo do is you hafta find joo'selves some goblin footprints.
Kmartaru: Hmmm.. goblin footprints.. where...hmmm
Bob: omfg..
Kmartaru: hmmm
<goblinmugger> 'tis ones a 'lil slow aint he?
Kmartaru: I FOUND ITT!!!!
*Kmartaru points at a watermelon on the ground*
Bob: ?
Kmartaru: Fud!
*Kmartaru readies Watermelon PWNAGE!!*
*Kmartaru sinks his teeth into the melon!*
Kmartaru: PWNED!!
Bob: Why is the melon pwned...
Kmartaru: tats obvioustaru.
Joe: >.<
Kmartaru: I bit him before it bit me.

<goblinmugger> anywayz... what you do is take out the hourglass.
*Bob takes out Perpetual Hourglass*
<goblinmugger> now you throw it on the ground.
Bob: Where your footprint is?
<goblinmugger> no, just on the ground, anywhere it doesnt matter.
Bob: ook..
*Bob chucks the wierd thing*
<goblinmugger> now you give me ur cash.
Joe: ...
<goblinmugger> alrite alrite, i was just kidding.
Kmartaru: I am a dutch taru!
<goblinmugger> anyway... now you just go in.
Bob: How?
<goblinmugger> how do you think Harry Potter went into that train?
Bob: He ran into a wall.
Bob: You sure about this?
Kmartaru: HERE I COME DISNEYLAND!!! RAWR!!
*Kmartaru runs into the wall*

................


Bob: ?
Kmartaru: Ouchi-wouchie.

<goblinmugger> I never told you to run into a wall. C'mon think! How did he do it!
Bob: Hell do I know!
<goblinmugger> fine fine. i'll do it for you.
*<goblinmugger> gives Bob, Joe and the taperecorder a pass*

Bob: What do we do with it?
<goblinmugger> You eat it.
Kmartaru: Fud?
<goblinmugger> When you swallow it, you will go unconcious and when you wake up you will be in flemland.
GMdev: Arkd'diel!!!!!

Bob: Here goes nothin'
Kmartaru: Fud!
Joe: This isnt what Potter did.
<goblinmugger> thats beyond the point! "Just do it!"
<nikebloodsuckingflesheathinglawyer> According to th-
*Joe uppercuts <nikebloodsuckingflesheathinglawyer>*

<goblinmugger> Well eat it already.
GMdev: DO ITTT!!!
Kmartaru: I'm really full tho, from melon-welon.
<goblinmugger> Oh man, you guys are such pussies. Theres another way.
*<goblinmugger> pushes Bob*
*<goblinmugger> pushes Joe*
*<goblinmugger> pushes Kmartaru*

*The three enter Arkd'diel*
Bob: Whoa...
Joe: Jesus...
Kmartaru: !!!!
Tim: Hmm?
Bob: WTF!!
*Bob pushes Tim*

*Tim exits scene*

Bob: anyways..
Joe: Whoa...







Edited, Tue Jun 29 07:42:05 2004 by Alacer

Someone's posing me lol.

http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1088502715860409537

Theres a glitch on the airship where you can seem like you jumped off.

Lol true, no gobs in gustaberg, but its a story and anything can happen! ^^

LOL! I wish I saw this thread earlier, it's making a water substance flow out of my eye-ular areas from laughing so much. The "fun hole" issues were great, lol, ahh, people figuring out how to constuct sentences from the translator for the first time...like the ever popular "Jerkin" issue too...

Keep it up, good stuff! Good way to start my day at 3pm, wheeeeeeeee...

i liked the <airshipdriver> Wtf? yeah keep it up i am laughing my *** off. And the pwnage of the watermelon. hehe. keep it up my main man i love this.

Well the process is very elaborate. The GM is a highly respected position, when done right. Here are the steps to becoming a GM. The steps are very secret but I'll let the secret out here. "Many new quests and items have been added" is referring to this new quest.

Steps:

1) First you must be lvl 75.

2) Then you must obtain a good number of Merit Points. Exact number is still to be confirmed.

3) Then you must make a GM call with the notsosecretanymore phrase "I am an unhelpful biased asshat and I want to be a GM"

4)Say it correctly and they will immeditaly reply with "Would you be willing to ***** people over by taking away items?"

5) Then you say "Never! Thou shalt not steal"

6) And at this point he will send you the official GM registration contract. The contract states that you must complete 3 quests by your "Mentor" GM. You will be assigned this "Mentor" GM and he will give you the 3 quests. The quests are decided by the GM. It can be anything.

One such quest(confirmed by a special friend of mine) has been to "Repeat this phrase by memory".

"There once was this chap who liked to cut crap in a jack trap and rap as he tapped and wrapped his map. He had this cap that he liked to snap, zap, clap and even flap the gap. And on his lap lay this booby trap that would unleash him Toboggan Cap unto his back where it could slap, smack or crack a tic tack. So I urge you not to attack this black hack of a pac or you back will be whacked with my pack."

7) When you have completed the 3 quests...

You are now a unhelpful biased GM!!

Lol, 2 stories in the same day? Never!

LOL!!! LMAO OMG!!! i could not stop laughing through ANY of those..... and that part with "can you raise me?" just hit me harder then anything else. keep them coming! though im sure your getting tired of hearing these compliments as theyre all basically the same, lol. dont stop though! it kicks ***.

OMFG... I was writing a story then my ****** computer ****** messed the *** up. It was so ****** long too.. OMFG.. i dont feel like writing anymore today.. my god..